All to the Glory of Him

73 Days and Counting!

2010-10-12T14:48:00.005-04:00

2 years and 1 month ago our sweet girl was diagnosed with ALL Leukemia, today, we have 73 days left of her treatment! 73 days, I remember when they told us that this treatment was 2 years and 3 months, at the time, it seemed like eternity. I recall being overwhelmed by her medical calender, so many daily meds, so many apts, now, I don't even think about it. Many parents in the treatment room fear the day their child's treatment is complete, I live in the daily faith that she was healed the day we claimed it in Jesus name and I look forward to Dec. 23rd. She continues and always will be a walking healthy testimony to the absolute truth of God's Living Word!

Yesterday, Bella was granted her Make A Wish trip to Walt Disney World for next May, 2011. She is very excited to meet the Princesses and have lunch with them in Cinderella's castle, and so is Mommy. Even her Dad and brothers are looking forward to this day. From what they have told us, they leave no stone unturned for Bella and her family to have a "royal" experience.

Bella continues to thrive, her hair is absolutely stunning...thick, long, shiny and silky. She is strong, has an amazing vocabulary and loves to laugh. She weighs 38 lbs, so curious what she will be when she is done with steroids next year. She loves everything girlie, Princesses and Fancy Nancy are among her favorites, however, she can wrestle her brothers to the ground (well, she thinks she is any way) and loves to play soccer and football with "her boys". When of my favorite things she is doing right now is that when we walk through stores or any public place she will wrap her arms around one of us and say "this is my Mommy" or this is "my Sammy" or "these are my boys". She nestles her chubby little cheek right in to ours...its the best.

I know I have not updated since April and I apologize. I so appreciate you checking in and still keeping tabs on us and Bella.

Blessings to all

Visit to Missouri

2010-04-19T22:40:00.003-04:00

It was time for our annual visit to spend time with Cheri and Malaena and family. It was wonderful and always so hard to leave. We had a blessed time and Cheri took wonderful photos of the girls.

Bella had a spinal tap today and chemo and started her monthly dose of steroids again. She is doing GREAT and has the most gorgeous head of hair. It's just glows and announces "God's Glory" to all who see her.

Spring arrived 2 weeks early this year, we have even had several days of summer! It's been such a blessing.

Thanks for checking in. Blessings!

Begotten of God

2010-04-05T23:15:00.000-04:00

Then and Now

2010-03-26T22:52:00.003-04:00

This is Bella today! Full thick head of soft curly hair.

This was Bella a year ago, she had just lost her head of hair.

Through it all, a 2 year adoption process, missing the first 8 months of her life here at home, Leukemia diagnosis 5 months after getting her home and today, a thriving 2 1/2 year old walking in the Glory of God, its all been good! Someone said to me today that life is how you look at it, for us, it's how much trust do you put in God. This whole experience start to finish, has been more good than bad. Yes, we would rather have had her home at birth, and yes, we would rather have completely skipped the Leukemia diagnosis, however, God has turned all that to good over and over again. We know we live in a fallen world, sickness, disease, lack are not of God, but His Word prevails, His promises are true and we are a walking testimony of it. When I think of this entire experience since 2006 when we first started the process of adoption, I am brought to me knees in complete awe of what God has done. Not just in the physical, more importantly, our Spirits. We could start our own "Never the same Camp" with all we have experienced. It's all good, it's truly all good.

Bella wrapped up steroids this week, she and I are re-cooperating. Let's just say I hold very strong to God's promise of "He who is in you is greater than He who is in the world". Steroids are not only physically tough on Bella, but Mama too. Chemo in April includes spinal tap chemo and intervenous, but Bella is such a pro and it truly is no big deal now. It's a a half day spent at the hospital, but it feels so normal to us now...how crazy is that. Next year at this time, it will be OVER! We have 9 months left and are waiting for her "Make-A-Wish" paperwork to arrive so that we can apply for her wish. According to Bella, she want's to eat at "Cinderella's Castle", so looks like we will be heading back to Orlando after Christmas rather than a cruise. It's Bella's wish and none of us are complaining.

Have a blessed weekend, so much excitement as we prepare to celebrate and remember that "He has Risen", and therefore, so are we!

Bella and Disney

2010-03-15T19:42:00.007-04:00

(UPDATE on Make A Wish Trip....fyi, Bella is absolutely healed and we know and believe with every part of our being and spirit that Leukemia is gone forever and will NOT ever return! However, the medical industry considers Leukemia a"terminal" cancer, so therefore, she will be granted a Make A Wish trip.)

We just returned from a trip to Orlando, FL to spend a week with Grandma and Grandpa. While visiting them, we spend two days at Walt Disney World touring Magic Kingdom, Disney Studios and Epcot. Phew.....3 Disney Parks in two days was a whirl wind, but wonderful. Bella was so sweet and her absolute high lights were meeting Mickey and Minnie and riding the Goofy Barnstormer Roller Coaster.

This was NOT Bella's "Make a Wish" trip, we are waiting to apply for that trip in December as Bella will be done with Chemo January 2011!!! Bella is completely healed by the Power and Victory of Jesus, this trip will by celebratory of our finished accomplishment of Medical Treatment. We are hoping to take the Disney Cruise, our other thought is the Nickolodean Cruise (Bella's first character love is still Dora and then Disney)...it will be totally up to Bella and at 3 1/2, she will be more apt to make her desire known.

Inter-venous chemo this week and steroids, all will be well.

Blessings to all of you.

You are my Sunshine

2010-02-18T15:05:00.003-05:00

Sammy caught Bella singing yesterday, thought I would share it.

2010-02-09T22:03:00.002-05:00

Were doing great! Bella had chemo yesterday and the two of us are healing from a nasty cold virus, but all is well. I struggle to update the blog, but please catch me on facebook, I am on that usually at least once a day and I post pics of Bella often.

Snow Bunny

2010-01-08T23:59:00.004-05:00

Bella loves the SNOW! Thank goodness, because we get plenty of it. She loves to play in it, lay in it and especially loves to eat it. Her "boys" as she calls them, took her out at night to play in the snow and sled down the driveway snow mounds. When it was time to come in 45 minutes later, she cried and cried. She is definitely a product of her environment being that she was born in a country called "eternal Spring".

Chemo and Spinal Tap on Monday, along with her monthly start to steroids and the newly added med of the month "PROZAC"! Ahhhh..........the happy pill.

A quick glimpse of Christmas

2009-12-25T23:41:00.002-05:00

Picture Perfect Christmas

2009-12-19T22:56:00.002-05:00

We had Christmas at my parents tonight, and as you can see, Grandma came through with yet another year of home made jammies for all 13 grandchildren! She tells us this was the last year, I'm hoping it not so, but I certainly can appreciate the daunting task of making that many sleeves.

Bella continues to do well. She had chemo this past week and started her monthly steroids as well. They started her on a small dose of prozac to try and counter act some of the unpleasant personality side effects of steroids, and its working! Bella's personality has really bloomed in the last 2 months. She is very social, say's hi to everybody and we are amazed by her language. She uses complete sentences, uses spanish words often, can count to 10 in both spanish and english, say's her abc's and can completely communicate with us verbally. She loves to spin like a ballerina, sing songs, play her brothers electric guitar and drums, still totally love's Dora and Minnie Mouse and is a little unsure about Santa but loves that he is bringing presents....preferably a "new baby doll" and a "big Dora Kitchen". Bella is doing so well that we often forget that we have monthly treatments of chemo. We are now 1 year away from completing her 2 yr. 3 month treatment plan.

The boys are great, very busy, seems that Bella and I spend the majority of our day driving them around. I have told them at this point, when I pull up to their stop, they need to "tuck and roll" as I need to get to the next drop off. There adoration for Bella and hers for them lights up my heart. They never complain when asked to watch her which is daily and they often argue over who gets to play with her.

Merry Christmas to all, may each of you know the power in the eternal gift that was given to you so many years ago in Christ.

Challenges, Yet Peace

2009-11-14T14:18:00.004-05:00

So the first picture is my Nikola, technically my nephew, but when get's home next week, he is all mine! Is he not the cutest little thing? I kid you not, I have the most beautiful 9 nieces and nephews in the world. Everyone of them gorgeous and uniquely perfect, I just love them.

Well, we had a bit of a rough week with Bella's chemo. A couple weeks ago when Bella had a flu bug, she had to have her blood drawn by a different nurse and it was not a happy experience for her. Bella is a child that requires earned trust. So this past week on Monday when they tried to access a vein, she was not thrilled even though it was her regular nurse. Her veins were week from the the flu bug and on top of that, she worked her self up in to a terrible fearful fit. So after 5 poke efforts, they stopped and rescheduled us to come back Thursday. We did, and went through the same thing again, only this time, after 4 pokes, her nurse threw everything done and said "that's it, were done, were putting in a port". Nurse Mary was broken hearted as Nurse John and they quickly made the executive decision that Bella needs a port. They love her dearly and they just don't want to see her suffer needlessly and either do we. So Tuesday afternoon Bella will have minor surgery to have an internal port installed in her chest that will allow the nurses and doctors easy access and no pain for Bella. So, with the benefits of no chemo and no steroids this week, I took Bella took the park and we had a great time playing together on the slides and swings in the 60 degree sunshine. God as always made good of an ugly situation and we have wasted no time enjoying our steroid free princess.

Our oldest Nate is in his high school musical "Cinderella", last night was opening night. We took Bella along and she really did enjoy it, however, every time the lights went out for a scene change she would yell "all done" and you could hear the entire auditorium chuckling. Every time Nate was on stage she would yell "See Nate, See Nate!". Sadly, he did not hear any of it.

We are absolutely loving this Indian Summer week we are having in November, so completely out of the ordinary. The heat has been off and the doors and windows have been open. We took the liberty to put up the Christmas lights as all to soon, the snow flakes will be flying, but oh how we love the snow.

Have a blessed week, again, we so appreciate all the prayers and warm thoughts. God is so faithful and we receive Bella's healing every day!

Before Thanksgiving.....

2009-11-06T22:54:00.005-05:00

The Cousins for Trick or Treating

Bella and her cousin Joe Joe

My 3 boys and the Princess

My kids and more cousins!

I thought I should post the remainder of the Halloween pictures. These photos are from Halloween. We had such a great day, we headed over to My Aunt Susie's in the morning and the kids got to see their Great Grandma and several of their second cousins (this is normal, we are so blessed to have this). We then had lunch and naps, visited with Grandparents and then headed over to my brothers for dinner and trick or treat with the cousins. At the end of the night, we piled the kids in one room with the tv, put the babies in bed and left Jake in charge and the four of us did a very amateur make up job, put on our Kiss Costumes and headed out to an adult neighborhood party. Dave and I have been married 18 years and we have dressed up for every Halloween, this years costumes were are absolute favorite. So a good late time was had by all.

Bella is just the most absolutely sweet little girl. She always has been, but with all her talking, she just gets sweeter. I love putting her to bed, she loves to be rocked like a baby and tells me "Night Mommy (not Mama but Mommy, so love that), I love you Mommy", and she say's it with a soft sweet voice. It makes it really hard to leave the room. When referring to herself she say's I and me every time, that amazes me, she is only 2, my boys never did that at this age. She can repeat almost any word you say to her, at least she always tries. She sings her abc's, twinkle twinkle little star, Barnie song (thanks Malae) and its bitsy spider. If you ask her who is in her family, she recites all our names including the dog and will do the same with all of her 12 cousins! Chemo has not stopped this child's development what so ever!

Monday is her once a month intervenious chemo and 5 days of steroids. The good news is, we are closer to being done with treatment. December 22, 2010 is her cutoff day for chemo. We have just a little over a year left and already 1 full year behind us. The majority of ALL Leukemia patients treatment is 2 years 3 months for girls and 3 years for boys. So much victory in such a short time. All Glory to God..."His living Word is alive and active", all we have had to do is speak it and believe it, regardless of current circumstance.

Lastly, my sweet husbands birthday was on Halloween, I have always said, "he's my treat not my trick".

Blessings to all,

Halloween Road Rally

2009-10-25T21:01:00.005-04:00

This weekend we had our Annual Halloween Party, only this time, we had a new twist by conducting an adult scavenger hunt called a Road Rally. We had 10 teams made up of 4-5 people, all were in costume and we ended the 3 hour excursion with a celebration victory party complete with food, drinks, dj and dancing. What a great night and great costumes. Can you guess my costume? Bella loved wearing her Daddy's boots the day before the party.

The boys all had a fever and cold last week, the fever only last 24 hours and they only missed one day of school. Bella has had a cold and fever since Friday night, but her spirits are overall good and she is still eating an drinking well, so that doctor believes it is symptoms of one of the bugs going around and we are home.

I completed my first 10k Saturday morning and I was really happy with my results...I cant even believe sometimes that I can run 6 miles without stopping. 15k is my next goal, will I get ambitious enough for a 25k? It's going to require a warm sunny place to do that.

Kids are excited for Halloween this week, focus is all on them now.

Be blessed!

Fall Fun

2009-10-23T00:51:00.003-04:00

I just had to quick post these two pics of Bella. Loving LIFE! We had a wonderful family day this past Sunday with the six of us at the apple orchard. Bella was completely in love with the pony's and delighted to ride them. I just love this little girls smile and joy.

BOO!

2009-10-15T16:58:00.002-04:00

Well, as you can see Halloween is in full force at our house! This is Jake's mask for his halloween costume, its almost as big as Bella! Bella had chemo and spinal tap today, she's doing great...steroids start tomorrow for 5 days, believing her personality will not be altered. All is well, were busy with football, Theatre and planning for our first Halloween Road Rally next weekend. Bella is talking up a storm, in fact, when in her own surroundings, she does not stop. Her personal favorite "please......" and ending it with Mama, Dada, etc. Makes it real hard to not give in. She loves playing with her dolls, doll house, Dora characters and playing "work" with Mommy's pens and paper. I reached my goal of running 6 miles and will be running a 10k next Saturday morning before our party. Believing all is gloriously wonderful in Him for all of you. Blessings!

Meet Number 13!

2009-09-21T18:29:00.003-04:00

This the newest member to my family, not only is He the 13th grandchild, but he was also the tie breaker! His name is Nikola Peter and he is PERFECT in every way. This is my sister Mary and her husband Dejan first baby. They live 15 hours away...its so hard not to be with them and too hold this precious bundle. Bella calls him "Nee-toe".

2009-09-20T23:46:00.005-04:00

"Be still and know that I am God"
That is Lake Michigan as I seen it this evening. Large bodies of water and the mountains, those of my spiritual physical places in God.

We packed up the kids and headed out to Lake Michigan this evening...40 minutes away, so love that. It was a 75 degree fall evening with over cast skies and the lake was beautiful. Boys and Dave had a great time playing football in the sand, Bella was content to just stroll the beach with me and pick up anything and everything in the sand as well as play in the chilly waters of the low tide. A year ago at this time, Bella was beginning to show signs of Leukemia and we had no idea. Today, she is healed, cancer free, strong, healthy and happy. How faithful our God is to His Word. She will continue chemo treatment for another year and a half, treatments are every 4 weeks, with spinal taps every 12 weeks and daily oral chemo. We see life so differently than we did 3 years ago when we just started the adoption process. The little things just don't get to us very often, my saying around the house "if it's not eternal, it doesn't matter". Sometimes, I get off track but the boys are quick to remind me.

Luv You Me

2009-09-16T01:06:00.002-04:00

This is how Bella sings her new favorite song...from Barnie (thanks in large to Malaena). She walks around the house singing this all day to anyone who will listen including her dolls. It's so darn cute. She also loves to say "BABA do", meaning "Bella do". Ms. Very Independent right now and in to EVERYTHING! As soon as I get something cleaned up, she's on to the next project "helping Mommy" as she says...some how i dont think folded laundry scattered all over the floor and back in baskets is helping Mommy. Bella had intervenious chemo last week and this week was the lovely and ever emotional "Ms Steroid"!!!! With praise and thanksgiving, its only 5 days every 4 weeks.

Technically summer has come to an end, but no one told our weatherman and I would like it to stay that way. It's been beautiful the last few weeks, so I predict an "indian summer".

The Princess Turned 2 !!!!

2009-08-29T00:27:00.003-04:00

I can't say it any better than my Mother did in the email she sent out to our family today.

"Good morning dear family,

This morning I am so filled with emotion as I look at the pictures of my grandchildren at the cottage two years ago and then last year. Two years ago, our youngest grandchild was Donnie, last year Joey and Bella were added. In 2007 even on this day we did not even know that Bella had been born. In 2008 we had secured Bella and we did not know the challenge that lay ahead. The picture in 2008 is so happy. And praise the Lord if we were to take another picture today, it would be even more happy. She has been secured to our family twice. And it has to be the Lords work. He chose her for us knowing all her needs. And I believe our needs also. All of us have experienced the strengthening of our faith as well as His love poured out to us through this very gentle, demonstrative, loving child. Happy birthday to Bella. Happy day to our entire family on the remembrance of the wonderful day that Bella came into the world. Let us not forget to pray for her birth mother, Elida, who gave her life.

With a big smile on my face, pride in all of you, and believing in God's continued favor and blessing, XONance"

We had a Dora Birthday today for our Dora lover, everything Dora, even her gifts. She was beyond excited. Speical thanks to my siblings who came out to help us celebrate the gift of Bella. It was a great day, and I admit, an emotional one for me. Just amazed and awed always by God's faithfulness to His Word, provision and plan.

Visit from Cheri and Dial Up

2009-08-24T22:47:00.002-04:00

Oh my goodness......I am sitting here racking my brain as to how we ever survived internet on dial up. This summer has been one road trip after another for us and I use my cell phone to "tether" to my lap top which works great to get info, but its S-L-O-W! This is the main reason I have not been good about updating our blog. We have two weeks of summer left in which we will be home for 1 week and camping the next. It's been a fun summer, but I am looking forward to having my wireless internet again.

We have been on yet another camping trip since I last posted, a few days at the cottage, Chicago for my brothers wedding, a visit from our MO friends and last night we had our last cottage blow out with a Wine Tasting event on the beach of the cottage with my siblings and our faithful neighbor Paul and Michelle.

As I just mentioned, Cheri and Malaena along with Donnie came to visit us this past week. It went by much to quickly. Bella and Malaena picked up right where they left off, as if they had just been together the night before. They were so sweet together and Bella was so excited when she seen Malae for the first time in 3 months, she ran right over and wrapped her arms around her. The weather at the cottage was not our normal August weather, but we managed to make great memories any ways. Cheri and I never have a problem finding something to talk about or laugh about, we are so incredibly compatible.

Bella continues to do great, we are back to once a month clinic apts. Her hair is really starting to come in and thicken and its just as pretty as it was when it fell out.

We had a terrible loss a week ago, Bella's only friend she truly made at clinic went home to Jesus. Her name is Hannah and she was 14 years old. Although we know Hannah is enjoying eternal paradise, we miss her. It was hard on me, I took to this young girl and her family and the loss has been hard. I rejoice in knowing that because Hannah was in Christ and Christ is in me, I walk and laugh with Hannah every day.

More pics later when I know I have wireless and they upload quicker. Thanks for checking in.

First Night and Award

2009-08-06T23:47:00.004-04:00

When I started this post, I almost said "first night without Bella" and then I quickly realized I would have thrown all of you into sinking stomachs fast! Bella is great! She is so stinking cute and also entering the joyful two's. :) This week she experienced her first "time outs" in the porta crib as she now throws fits when we take something away from her. I have not used this porta crib for anything other than sleeping when traveling and now, we have a great need for it. She get's 2 minute time outs when she throws a fit and cant get a grip. God bless her, most times, she is so obedient and sweet.

Tonight is our first night without Bella since she came home 15 months ago. I thought it would be harder, but so far, so good. My little brother Joe gets married in Chicago this weekend and a 2 year old at an out of town wedding would not be fun. So she is home with my in-laws and I am thrilled for Bella to get this quality time with her grandparents. Dave and I and the the boys are looking forward to a fun family weekend with no responsibilities other than fun...but we sure will miss our Princess, its just fun to see her smile, smell her head and kiss her cheeks. She can now say the entire alphabet by repeating it with us and can count to ten when walking up or down the stairs. She say's so many words, but her newest saying "love you" is my personal favorite. She lists off all her cousins names on a daily basis and walks around the house saying "cottage" with a question mark. Her eating is improving and she is beginning to try new foods again. She is still a "night owl" like her Mom and prefers a 10 o'clock bedtime. That works for the summer, but come fall, its over!

We get back Sunday evening and un-pack and pack again for our last summer camping trip with old neighbors and friends. This summer has been a whirl wind of living out of suitcases, yet I would not have changed anything. We spent an entire year home doing nothing with Bella coming home and then her diagnosis and treatment, its been wonderful to have a sense of freedom again. Bella has her monthly spinal tap chemo next week and continues to take oral chemo daily.

While during the adoption process I received a "blogging award", this summer, I am pretty sure you would aware me "worst update blogger". I hope to bring a new energy and look to my blog come fall. the 3 boys will be back in school and travel during the day will come to an end. I appreciate all of you keeping up on us and all your prayers and support.

Blessings, enjoy these last few weeks of summer.

Waiting for 80

2009-07-25T23:55:00.005-04:00

My Dad

Johnny

Morgan

Gracie

Emma

Kathleen (aka Teenie)

The infamous and never boring....Joe Joe!

See that little scar on Bella's chest...that is where her port used to be. Sometimes, I forget all about that thing. It is absolutely wonderful not to have the noodle any more and Bella tolerates all her "pokey's" so well.

Were waiting....waiting for summer to come and let Spring be till next year. For all you living in the 100 degree states, I know you think differently, but when you get 6 months of winter, you live for 3 months of summer. We have had a well below normal temp summer as well as many clouds. June was good, but July has been a bit disappointing. Looking on the good side, the skin is staying shiny white amd we are spring cleaning around the house after being gone for 7 weeks. Of course, our break as brief as we have 2 more camping trips planned as well as my brothers wedding in Chicago and hopefully a visity from Cheri and Malaena!

Bella is back on track with her chemo and doing well. Little bit challenging last week as her steroid dose was doubled, a bit grouchy and emotional to say the least. It seems as though we have been at this for so long now, I cant believe we still have a year and half left! Overall, its gone great and we just give God the glory daily for His healing Word.

For those of you that have been wondering, we were camping in Higgins Lake in Michigan a couple weeks ago! Suzi, you got it! :) Need your address sweet friend.

The attached pictures are my family, other than my own kids, I think my nieces and nephews are the most amazing and beautiful children in the world. I love being with the summer and miss them all winter long, so do my kids. They just reflect God's joy. All of these pictures were taken at the cottage a couple weeks ago.

Love to all,

700...Camping...Quiz....Treatment

2009-07-13T23:19:00.002-04:00

70o! I finally downloaded my camera tonight and there were 700 photos from the 4th of July to date. To say the least, we have been busy and I can barely see my screen after all those photos.

We are home from our 5 day camping trip. It was...well, an adjustment. It's been 2 years since we camped, last year we did not go as Bella had just come home. This time around, we have a full blown teenager, a pre-teen, and "dirt boy" and a toddler on chemo treatments. It took us about 3 days to get our bearings and then we were figuring out how to camp with the new dynamics of our family. Overall, we had a nice time and have conducted a "family meeting" as to what everyone wants out of vacation time.

Bella's counts were GREAT last week! She is no longer neutropenic and I am no longer needing to give her shots in her legs. She started back up on her chemo last week but in lesser doses. This Thursday she will be sedated for yet another Spinal Tap for chemo and blood draw and then Friday we leave again for a family get together with family. Monday we head to Cedar Point for a fun filled day of Roller Coasters!

Lastly, thank you to all of you who have visited our blog from my good blogging buddy Pineapple Princess. As promised, I have a small prize to the person who can guess what body of water we visited this past weekend. I will give you up to 3 clues.

First Clue....we were in Central Northern Michigan! I know, it looks like the Ocean. :)

quiz ? and home bound!

2009-07-13T15:38:00.000-04:00

I just wanted to let everyone know that we are on our way home from camping. I will post pick and quiz question tonight

Neupogen and Home

2009-07-07T00:10:00.002-04:00

Quick update. Bella's ANC counts have been low for the past 3 weeks now, what should be monthly visits at this point has been weekly and clinic days have been lengthy. We were told last week that Bella was "Neotrpenic" meaning she has no immune system. Technically, her white blood counts are low thus eliminating her body to fight off infection. Whatever, this girl is so rock solid healthy and covered in God I dont even think about it. However, we are required to do our part and therefore, I spent last Thursday learning how to give "shots" in my daughters leg so that we can build up her immune system. Have I mentioned lately that I am pretty sure I will have earned my nursing degree by the time we are done with this? :) So thankful she will not remember Mommy giving her "pokey's" but believing she will remember I showere her with M&M's or a sip of diet coke for being so brave. She has not been able to have her chemo now for 2 weeks, this prolongs treatment, but I must admit, the break was nice. This Thursday we go back again for what I believe will be a normal ANC count.

My sister was home 3 weeks and left today. My heart is sad, I love the time I get to spend with her at the cottage. We are planning to head out East to spend a week with her and Dejan this summer. We are all heading home tomorrow to resume life outside of the cottage and plan a few camping trips, along with our trip out East, Chicago and Detroit. I will then finally be able to post some pictures as I will have my high speed interent again rather than dial up.

Blessings,

Cottage Photos and Chemo break!

2009-06-26T17:45:00.004-04:00

A few updated photos of Bella at the cottage this week. Life is Good!

The last photo is of Bella and one of her favorite cousins Emma.

Bella had a blood draw on Thursday, her ANC count was still too low to continue chemo, so we are on a ONE WEEK HIATUS from any medications or chemo! Whoo Hoo! Bella has not had a week like this since Oct. 15th last year...the day before her diagnosis. So we are hanging low at the cottage with the fam and enjoying each other and laughing a lot. Never a dull moment at the cottage, there is always someone to tease and new stories to tell.

2nd Month of Maintenance Chemo

2009-06-21T21:28:00.002-04:00

Ok, so I have been harassed enough by my family and friends about my Non-existant posts. Honestly, its not intentional. It's that time of year again, "Cottage Time". We have basically been living at the cottage since Memorial Weekend, traveling back and forth for games and my work, and I have had technical difficulties with my laptop and Blackberry....still working on getting these resolved, but I should be up and running at the cottage by the end of the week.

So with that said, here's a quick update. Bella looks beautiful! Her hair is really starting to come in and her head is currently similar to "brushed velvet", we just pet her all day long. She loves being around her cousins all day, especially "Emma and Joe Joe". Today was her first day in the lake as it took her awhile to get re-aquainted with the water and sand. She is so there now.

She had her second month of "maintenace treatment" last Thursday. I was so amazed by her demeanor and tolerance. As you may recall, we had her broviach port removed last month so that she would be able to enjoy the water and sand this summer as well as have regular baths. This results in Bella having to be poked twice in the arm for a blood draw and her regular schedule monthly chemo treatment. She did not like it, but she only cried for a second and it was over. The nurses are amazing and they got in the first time and she has absolutely no bruising. Her counts were great except for her ANC (reminder, ANC stands for "Absolute Nutrifil Count" which controls her immunity system) which was in the low 300's. So they are holding off her 6mp (oral chemo) for a week and we will return back to clinic next week for another blood draw to see if her counts have improved so that we can restart her chemo back up again. Am I concerened? Absolutley NOT! We believe with all our hearts, soul and mind that Bella is healed, we are just going through the motions. She started her monthly 5 days of steroids on Thursday and has been handling it much better than in the past. I think being at the cottage with her 9 cousins, aunts, uncles and grand parents really keeps her distracted.

I'd like to give a big shout out to all you Dad's out there, especially my heavenly Father, earthly Dad and my amazing and handsome husband.

Will be uploading pics this week! Wait till you see Bella's suit, compliments of her Grandma Linda.

Looking forward to getting my lap top back so that I can catch up on all of you. I miss my blogging buddies.

Much love, Susie

Way Overdue Update!

2009-05-29T00:16:00.007-04:00

Bella and Malaena running away from me after they escaped from their bath time, PRICELESS!

Cheri and I, first one's in the pool for the summer 2009. Cheri said it was below 30, I say it was around 60...can you tell which one of us is the Northerner?

Bella just before her broviach removal, I'd say from this look she was ready.

This was a common scene, silly Malae and Ms. "I am not so sure of this girl" Bella. Two totally different personalities and they played beautifully together. Now Cheri and I...we are two peas in a pod.

This is what happens when your toddler is in your bathroom and you are busy blowing drying your hair. I knew she was playing with them, what I didnt know is that she took off with both boxes. When I realized she was not in my bedroom any more I went looking for her and this is what I found. Take note, she has the directions in her hands. I still cant look at this picture without laughing...I wonder if she will find these just as entertaining years from now?

This is one of the walls at "The Cottage". It's lined with photos of previous years. We went up to the cottage Memorial Weekend to "Open the Cottage" and my son took this picture.

My boys at the bonfire.

My boys with their "everything's bigger at Bostwick Lake" doughnuts.

This is Bella after her Broviach Removal..."Princess Quit A Lot" is all smiles and FREE!

To all my loyal blogging friends...I am so sorry, I am way behind on my blog. Why is it that every year teachers pile on every field trip and project for the last 6 weeks of the school year? EVERY YEAR! 3 kids in 3 different classes makes for a challenging schedule.

Bella and I had an absolutely wonderful time in Missouri with our friends The Harris's. Cheri and I laughed till our cheeks hurt and slept very little. We were having so much fun that we stayed an additional evening. Bella did great and thanks to her buddy Malae, she is now climbing on everything.

Last week Bella had her "broviach" (external port) removed....I cant even begin to express the immense ease this has brought to our lives and hers. For the first time in 7 months, Bella can take a bath as often as she likes and dive in as deep as she wants, she does not have to wear a "onsie" every day and she no longer has an itchy rash from the bandaid used to keep the open wound protected. As for me, I no longer have to change her bandages any more no inject her nightly with antiobiotics to keep it from getting infected. Her meds are still pretty high maintenance, the monthly 5 days of steroids can be a bit hard on our daily life, but Bella is really doing great. One of the high lights, her hair is growing back and she keeps getting stronger.

My first baby is graduating from 8th grade Monday night and moving on to High School. I know I just sent him off to Kindergarten, I remember it just yesterday. His little blonde buffey hair and Harry Potter back pack...how quickly these years go and how very much I want to let the demands of this world go so that I can just sit back and take it all in with every one of my kids. With God's grace and wisdom, I will.

I attached photo updates from the last couple of weeks and hope to be able to post soon professional photos shot by Bellabambino while in Missouri. Sheri took pictures of Bella and Malaena as well as us the four us girls.

Again, I am so very grateful that you continue to check in on us and pray. This journey continues to bless us in so many ways, your words of support and encouragement always makes my heart happy.

Blessings and love to all,

Susie

Tis good to be friends

2009-05-12T00:00:00.004-04:00

Together again, its been a year since these girls have been together...you would never know.

5K and In MIssouri!

2009-05-11T09:34:00.002-04:00

The 5k I have been training for was this past Saturday and I did it! In fact, Dave and the boys started to train shortly after me and ran as well. We were all pleased with our time, I was just thrilled to have crossed the finish line with out walking the entire 3.2 miles. In finished in 32 minutes, which was good for me especially after not working out for a year and training for only 11 weeks. Were now talking another 5k the end of June and a 10k in the fall. I am not on board yet for a 25k.

Bella is doing great! So much so that Bella and I are in Missouri for a week visiting our best buds Cheri and Malaena-Sloan. It's been a year since we have seen each other, the girls are so cute together and Cheri and I stayed up till 2:15 am talking. Girl friends are a GOOD thing. Excited to be here just chill, no agenda, just girl time.

I will post pictures soon, I have some good one's.

Thanks for checking in, truly, Bella is handling her treatment great and her hair is starting to grow back in. I am so excited!

Forver Family Day!

2009-05-04T22:31:00.003-04:00

One year ago on May 3, 2008...we became a family of SIX! It still takes my breath to think of this moment, it was more powerful than picking Bella up after not seeing her for 8 months. All the waiting, all the love and support, our boys waiting, friends and family cheering...it was an overwhelming awesome moment. Victory was God's.

Gotcha!

2009-04-28T22:23:00.005-04:00

One year ago today, I walked in to a small yellow room with 3 cribs and 5 babies. In the crib directly in front of me laid my sweet sleeping daughter. Her little face was facing away from me, at first glance, I could only see the shiny black hair I stroked when she was 3 weeks old. I will never forget that moment. I will never forget the raw emotions, and overwhelming joy, what it felt like to hold her again after 8 months, the answered pray that she knew me when I picked her up and she looked at me, smiled and then nuzzled her face in my shoulder. I will never forget the tears rolling down my face and her special Mother as we were reunited, the softness of her hair on my cheek, the tininess of her hands and feet. I will never forget the smile on her Daddy's face when he held her that first time in 8 months, the desperateness of our reliance on God, and the relationship we grew in Christ. I will never "never forget what God has done, for it is marvelous in our eye's". It has been the sweetest year despite all we have been through.

It was not the day I planned or hoped for. Our morning started off slow, and quickly abrupted into busyness. I had planned to dress Bella in a special outfit, meet Daddy for lunch in celebration of this day, read books, play at the park and lay in the sun beam in my family room on the floor with Bella in my arms praising God as I did so many day's while praying and believing her home. Instead, I found my self in the car dealership for an apt. I forgot about, running around town for Electrical plugs, showing the handyman around my home for all the "little things" that needed repair, driving the boys here and there for all their events, finalizing details for a listing sold and dealing with a crying and emotional baby girl on steroids. One year ago the day was magical and utterly joyful, a year later...I was still blessed and much is to be praised, for Bella is home. Yet I find myself at the end of the day disappointed that I was not able to enjoy this special day more in the physical realm, but I know that I know that my spirit is rejoicing with God and all His angels in what was accomplished one year ago today and what has been manifested since.

I am so tempted to pick that sweet little girl up and rock her back and forth and sing...
"I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be".

This is from the book "I'll love you forever", I read this to all my babies and made a tune to go with the words and I sing it to this day to all of them.

On Sunday we will celebrate our Forever Family Day. This is the day one year ago that Dave and I brought Bella home to her brothers, grand parents, cousins, all extended family and friends. I have a video from that glorious moment that I have never posted and plan to do on Sunday. We are still trying to figure out how we want to celebrate that day as we also have a "First Communion" to celebrate with my niece. I am confident God will show us the perfect way to glorify Him and celebrate in the victory and promise that He did.

One year ago today.....I am still crying and standing in His glory. How great is our God!

Can you Guess?

2009-04-26T23:26:00.002-04:00

For all those following my blog since last year....can you guess what tomorrow is? Yes....tomorrow is clinic day for Bella, she has a physical, bone marrow aspiration (spinal tap) chemo, and we have our consultation regarding maintenance, but there is something even more important to celebrate tomorrow, leave me a post and tell me what you think it is?

I was hoping to upload a few pics of Bella with her boys and new toys, but my son downloaded them and now we cant find them. So tomorrow I will post pics. :)

Blessings,

Finally the Park and Maintenance!

2009-04-23T00:44:00.004-04:00

Yes...it's true, we received official word on Monday that Bella will begin 1 1/2 years of Chemo maintenance on Monday the 27th! I find it interesting that Monday is also the one year anniversary of the day we left to pick Bella up for good. We will begin the day with a physical for Bella, discussion on what maintenance will entail and then she will have another spinal tap and chemo. Maintenance will still involve chemo, but not as often. By mid June, we will go from twice a week apt's to once a month with a few blood counts in between. According to our nurse, our life will start to resume a little more normalcy. Dave and I are just so thrilled to have the toughest part behind us, Bella is so herself again, strong, happy, laughing and walking. It's good to be "normal" again.

Today, I was finally able to take Bella to the park. She has not had any chemo for 2 weeks now, so I took advantage of her normal blood counts and we spent some time climbing and swinging. I just feel so incredibly blessed and hugged by God to have had this last year with Bella. I am not sure what our life would have been like with out Leukemia her first year home, but I do know that God gave me back all the time I lost with her when she was in Guatemala.

Today is our 1 year anniversary of receiving our PINK from US Embassy....will post more later today.

Transfusion ..... Maintenance?

2009-04-15T22:27:00.003-04:00

Bella with "her boys" and cousin Collin Easter Morning.

We had a nice weekend with family over Easter. Bella really has been doing well other than a cold and low Hemoglobin. I knew over Easter Weekend that she would most likely need blood on Monday morning and I was right. She was looking pale, and although she is a very good baby, she was exceptionally calm. Her hemoglobin was the lowest its been since December, 6.6. So hour 1 hour apt turned into an all day affair at the hospital on Monday.

The big news is.....her team of doctors are discussing starting MAINTENANCE!!!!! Could a more normal life and schedule be around the corner? We are so excited. Irregardless, the worst of the the chemo is over. We are also discussing with doctors on removing her broviach and replacing it with a port so that she can be active in the water this summer. About 6 more weeks till "The Cottage" opening....we are counting down the days.

We are also talking about our "Forever Family Day" and what we want to do for that. For us, that day is May 3rd, that is the day we walked off the airplane and placed Bella in to the arms of her brothers, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles and Cousins. I think that pretty much sums up "family day".

As always, I love that you check in.

Blessings!

P.R.A.Y.

2009-04-10T23:34:00.004-04:00

Pray....we hear this all the time, "pray for me, pray for others, pray, pray, pray. In the last couple of years, I have really come to understand what prayer is, but never have I heard it put so simply until recently.

How simple....it's not the ritual prayers we speak, its not church every Sunday, but ever day relationship with our Creator and Father.

P raise
R epent
A sk
Y ield

Exactly how Jesus instructed us to pray through what we now know as the "Lord's Prayer".
I loved this simple explanation of how to pray, and I can't help but think how many more of us would spend time in prayer if we simply took a few minutes to praise, repent, ask and yield. I know the world would be better for it.

Birthdays and update

2009-04-06T22:56:00.003-04:00

Bella and her new Easter Basket....I think it's one size too big.

Susie and Jake

My Jacob celebrated his 12th birthday yesterday and I celebrated my 41st today. I don't feel 41 and my baby still feels like my baby even though he is twelve. God did promise that "my youth was renewed every day", so that's my story and I am sticking to it.

Bella continues to do well, she has a little cold and kindly passed it on to the rest of us. Last week she had an unexpected transfusion on Wednesday...the day after I had the stomach flu. It was a long day at the hospital, but today, her blood counts were great other than her ANC (absolute nutrifil count) which is to be expected from the chemo. So its a low key Spring Break for us as she is highly susceptible to catching germs. We do our part, God does the rest...its all good.

I placed a descent order last week from the "pretty lady" line at Gymboree and it came today. I am not a big Gymboree girl, Baby Luly is my favorite, but the Lady Bug line was all to perfect and PINK. It all came today and it was a wonderful birthday present. Cant wait to spend a morning trying the outfits on her. She was walking around the house this afternoon carrying them all around in her arms...that's my girl.

I hope to post tomorrow on something I heard about PRAYER this past weekend, it brought it all in to perspective for me and made praying so simple and perfect.

Hugs!!!

Sweet Child O Mine!

2009-04-04T21:46:00.002-04:00

Oh ya.....these our boys! Are they awesome or what?!!! I am so incredibly proud of Nate and Jake as well as their other band members Luke and Brian. They performed for their school last Thursday for the middle school and rocked them out. Nate is the guitarist (black hat with purplish shirt on) and Jake is the drummer. The boys actually performed the same song twice as the first performance was for "You Tube". The second performance was because the kids were screaming for more and the teachers approved. Nate and I worked on a mix of both those videos. They had way too much fun that day and so did I. I am one proud Mama.

Crafty Fun and more

2009-03-31T13:51:00.002-04:00

2 Weeks....that's all we have left for "Delayed Intensification" and were back to round 2 (60 days) of "Interim Maintenance" and then on too "Maintenance"! Wow, cant even believe that its been almost 6 months since diagnosis. We are constantly being asked with very sullen faces "how are you? How is it going"? I know people are truly concerned and care and honestly, they probably cant even imagine being in the same position as we are, but are answer is always...GREAT! Were really doing great, sure, Bella has had some dark days, not all the treatments are easy, but we have not had any admittance in to the hospital since last December and that is rare. We are living in the constant glory of God's living Word and promises and this little girl is HEALED! Around the middle of June, Bella will start about 16 months of "Maintenance" treatments which means we should only be at the clinic once a month rather than twice a week. :) We will also be changing her "broviach" to a port which is under the skin so that she can be in water. This will create just a slight poke for her when receiving treatments or having blood draws, but it far out weights the benefits of enjoying cottage life with her cousins. Can you imagine trying to keep an almost 2 year old out of the sand and beach all summer when its 10 feet from your back door? Not me, and I have no interest in doing it. Bella's mood is great when she has the 4 days off of the intervenious chemo I admit in to her port, but on the "on day's" she is rather moody and nauitious and struggles to keep anything in. She has had absolutly no effects from the oral chemo she is currently taking. Thursday she starts back up on the intervenious chemo for 4 days.

We did a few crafts with Bella this past week, playdough and stamping. I have not seen my stamps or stamp pads in about 7 years now, so it was wonderful to get out that old investment and watch Bella and the boys have fun with them. Bella absolutely loves playdough....I think she enjoys carrying the containers around just as much as she enjoys the playdough.

Spring Break starts Friday this week, we will be home as we cant travel at this time with Bella's treatment. Believing God for great Michigan weather! My Sammy had his spider dance at school today and the other two boys have the "Variety Show" at school on Thursday. Nate plays electric guitar and my Jake drums. Get this, they are playing "Sweet Child of Mine" by Guns n Roses! They have a small band but no singer, I have volunteered my great vocals, but it was a resounding No! Bummer, I just no I can screetch with the best of them. I will be posting both videos this week, I am so proud of my boys.

Love to all,

Run dont walk in to the Adventure

2009-03-29T22:46:00.001-04:00

Oh Bug...

2009-03-24T14:57:00.003-04:00

It turns out Bella did have the stomach flu as I have been spending quality time with our bathroom today. Fortunately, Bella is doing much better, just really wore out and no appetite. For 2 weeks I nursed 4 children and a husband, now they are nursing me. My sweet husband stayed home this morning to care for Bella and called my good friend Sue to get the boys from school. Stomach bug and all, I am still blessed. :) Tomorrow is Bella's all day drip chemo. It was postponed last week as her counts were too low. Back to getting some rest.

Scractching our Heads

2009-03-23T18:50:00.002-04:00

Bella has been "under the weather" the last few days. Were not sure if its the stomach flu or a "toxicity" reaction from the chemo. It's hard to say as her symptoms are the same for both. We have not been able to keep anything in her system, it just comes right back out one end or the other. Fortunately, her spirits are good, she looks good, just a little extra tired and snugly. As I type, I hear her screaming at her brothers because she is trying to come up the stairs to me and they wont let her. So as you can read, she still has her spunk. :)

a Little Laugh

2009-03-20T13:41:00.003-04:00

Turn up the volume...this will make you smile. :) Yes, its Bella you hear.

Irish Eyes are Smiling....

2009-03-18T14:41:00.002-04:00

3 Leprechauns and 1 Wild Irish Rose

I just love these chubby little fingers, and she sure loves McDonald's Nuggets.

Yup, were Irish! Well at least the boys and I, Dave and Bella are adopted into the Irish Heritage. It was the most beautiful St. Patrick's Day I ever remember, 72 degrees, sunny and blue skies! Bella and I had a McDonald's picnic on the front porch, we all went on a bike ride and we ended the day with green "Guatemalan Corn Cake". Last year I spent an entire day cooking Irish food and nobody liked it, green cake is much easier.

Tomorrow starts round 2 of "Dealyed Intensification", not only does Bella get a spinal tap, but an all day chemo drip...it will be a long day and I am going prepared with things for both of us to do. Also, to clarify things and not confuse any one, "Delayed Intensification lasts 4 weeks", it is the last round of the intense chemo, but we still have 1 year and 8 months of treatment after this. I think I may have confused some of you when I said only 3 more treatments left. However, its my understanding that come the middle of June, our life can resume more "normalcy" as the hard part will be behind us. Yet again, we just give Praise to God for being faithful to His Word, Bella has done remarkably well, quit honestly, after the first two months, the worst part has been the steroids.

I am trying to figure out how to shorten some of my video clips so that I can post them. I have a really cute one yesterday of Bella laughing so hard at her brothers jumping on the tramp. Stinking cute!

Our Bald Beauty!

2009-03-15T19:16:00.002-04:00

First and foremost, YES, I am ok! Yet I admit, it was a little hard on me this morning when I got her out of bed.

Bella continued to loose hair after her hair cut, I was constantly having to change her sheets and the hair was still getting in her food and eyes. So Saturday evening, Dave and I both decided it was time for it all to go. Believe it or not, I used a personal hair clipper to remove it, that's how little their was. The majority of her remaining hair outlined her face and it just made her look sickly and she's NOT! A funny little side note on these photos, Bella loves to look at the digital camera after we take photos. When we ask her "who is this" pointing to her, she always say's "Baba" (Bella), today we asked her and she looked at it for a second and then said "Baby". She didn't even know it was herself.

We had a beautiful weekend, clear blue sunny skies and high 50's low sixties....I do believe Spring has sprung.

Dana, It was a complete privilege to talk with you again today. Your wisdom and words encourage me and strengthen my spirit. You are truly a gift to all who know you.

Thanks everyone for checking in, Bella only has 3 more intense chemo treatments left, praising God for his continued blessings in His Word.

Rock A Bye Baby....

2009-03-12T23:49:00.002-04:00

Our sweet baby girl. This has been a little bit rougher week with chemo and steroids, but overall, she has done amazingly well, were home and NOT in the hospital and I am not expecting to go back! That's my confession and I am sticking to it.

Bella was not feeling well today and just wanted to be rocked, this is tonight after an hour long cry in my arms in the rocking chair. I would not have traded this moment for anything in the world, in fact, she fell asleep with in 10 minutes after rocking her to sleep and I continued to rock her for an hour. As I looked down at her sweet little face and bald head, all I could see was my baby. The same baby I held at 3 weeks of age. I knew her hair loss would be difficult, and the first day it started to fall, it was, but now, I find joy in seeing my baby again, of touching her perfectly smooth little head and I rejoice in the fact that this time I will be given the privilege of watching all that beautiful shiny black hair grow in the months to come. I missed that her first 8 months. I knew with all my heart that God would replace the time lost, I just had no idea that it would be so perfectly wonderful. Isn't that crazy? Who would ever have thought that chemo side effects would have joy. Yet He promised there was joy in all things...I love looking for those moments every day.

Look who's back....

2009-03-10T21:59:00.010-04:00

Belinda....I love you friend, thank you!

Tubby after hair cute....as you can see, she was totally happy about it.

MY BABY!!!! This is a good side effect of chemo....she looks just like she did at 4 months old. I knew Sunday that this day was coming as her hair started to fall out pretty heavily...but by late this morning, I was putting a hat on her head just trying to keep it in till we got to my girl friend Belinda. Hair was every where, its all over our house, and believe it or not, after my big cry on Sunday, I was glad to see it go. It just got too messy and Bella was really miserable, she could not even eat with out hair all over her tray, hands and mouth. She looks adorable and we are honestly all good with this. Not how I wanted her first hair cut to be, but she had her hair 5 months longer than she was suppose too. Belinda said not to shave it off as she may keep some peach fuzz. So we will see, either way, she looks great and we LOVE seeing those big beautiful eye's popping out.

After dinner tonight, I gave Bella a tub and put her in to her much to big Dora jammies that were her cousins, she loves to put them on. After that, she wanted to hand me all of her hats, so I kept putting them on her head. She walked around with 4 hats on her head for an hour and half, too funny. She looked like the Cat in the Hat.

Walking by faith and not by sight. The more you do this, the easier it gets and before you know it, its habit! God's way is soooooo much easier, so grateful for His LIVING WORD!

Thanks for checking in and all your love and support. I want all of you fellow bloggers to know that I check your blogs weekly, I just dont get the opportunity to post enough, but I am working on it.

Expectant Hope

2009-03-09T23:36:00.000-04:00

Hope...."Confident, Expectancy". Genuine Hope is not wishful thinking, but a firm assurance about things that are unseen and still in the future. (Romans 8:24-25; Heb 11:1-7-Jack Hayford)

"My hope is you Lord, show me the way, guide me in truth, in all my days". (Psl:39:7) In other words, "My confidence is you Lord, my expectation is you!". I just recently decided to look up the definition of hope. Most of us(including myself at one time) run around using the word hope as "wishful", wishful that we can "storm" heaven for God to answer our prayer . I was clearly relieved when the Holy Spirit revealed the true definition of HOPE to me. In any obstacle, circumstance or attack, I can rely on the biblical truth that "my hope is Him", I can stand in His confidence and expectation that "He is able will perform His word".

So with that said....we are blessed, every day is an adventure, regardless of the circumstance. Bella is such a trooper, the chemo she takes in large doses these next two months really effects her nerves. Our doctors are somewhat puzzled by this as most children do not respond to the "Vincristine" as she does, but we worked that out the first couple months of treatment and this time started her Narontin (a medication for children with seizures) early. This medication helps to protect her nerves. She is having quit bit of "diarrhea", but nothing alarming. She is also back on steroids, but not the high doses as the first two months. She desires lots of snuggling and attention right now, books are her favorite thing to do. She is content to just sit on our laps, not as active these days. She is not fond of the shaking and I cant say I blame her, its hard to watch her shake so uncontrollably all day, but she still remains happy and cute as ever. By this time tomorrow, it looks like she may have a new hair "doo", so check back soon.

These pictures were taken last Thursday when we had our first 62 degree day this Spring. It was a little piece of heaven and Bella loves to be outside. Our boys and the neighbor kids were trying to play a game of basketball, the Princess wanted to participate. Thinking she's going to need a little more height.

Blessings!

Week 3 of Delayed Intensification

2009-03-04T23:31:00.002-05:00

I do not like to post with out pics, that is one of the biggest reasons I do not post more often. I know I enjoy seeing pics on all of your blogs, so I assume you are looking for the same thing. However, I do want to keep you informed on Bella's progress as I know you care and your friendship and prayers mean so very much to us.

Bella's most recent chemo treatment was last Thursday, her next chemo is scheduled for Friday afternoon. She continues to baffle the Doctors with all her hair, she thinned out a tiny bit more last week, but it's still hanging in there and I am dolling her up every day with piggy's and bows. Overall, she is happy and eating REALLY well. Of course, she only eats about 5 foods, of which only 2 are really healthy for her. McDonalds chicken nuggets are her favorite! We make at least one daily trip to McDonalds for a 4 piece chicken nugget, the last 2 days, I have been there twice! Her other 4 favorites are deli turkey rolled up, pizza, apricots and eggs, that's it. Unfortunately, she has had a few effects from the chemo, not to worry, its only circumstance, a side effect of the chemo and she only has 6 weeks left of this chemo and were done and back to bone marrow aspirations! She has been nautious and making her wonderful gagging sounds again, she also has diarehia and it burns her little bottom pretty bad. I change her diaper as soon as I realize its there, but it still get's her pretty good. Bella's Oncologist invented a prescription diaper creme that the hospital calls "Magic Butt Cream", and it truly is, clears things up really quickly for her. Next week she gets a break from chemo before starting up again. Her counts are expected to drop so we will be laying low at home and allowing her little body to recooperate. We do our part in keeping Bella safe from earthly attacks to her immune system, but we take great comfort in knowing that we have done our best and the rest is in God's care and His promise is restoration, protection and healing.

The boys are great, busy in basketball, music and school. We are all starting to count the weeks till Memorial Weekend when we "open the cottage". I am on my 5th week of training for the 5k and I really am starting to get in to this. I actually find my self thinking through out the day when I will get to run, I can see why this gets a little addicting. I can now run 3 miles with only 4 minutes of walking breaks and this is only because the "trainer" tells me too. I am not burning out, so I want to stick with what I have been told to do. Courtney and Jen, you too keep me going, it can do 25k's and marathons, I can certainly handle 3.2 miles. I have also started back at Real Estate, slowly but surely.

I will update this weekend with pics and a video of Bella laughing, its so cute, she laugh's non stop at her boys.

Blessings

We talk in summer, now lets meet on the slopes!

2009-02-27T23:35:00.003-05:00

We re on our way Up North for a ski day with our boys and friends. Bella will be staying with my Mom for the day. Just wanted to touch base and let you know all is well. Bella had chemo again yesterday....she is really shaky, so they put her back on the Narontin which helps with her nervous system. She now has 7 days off of steroids, and believe it or not, has a small appetite. Her belly is really bloated again, she looks so funny walking around...she looks like a tiny pregnant person. Other than these very small circumstances, she is doing GREAT! We go back for week 3 of chemo next Thursday. Truly I tell you, the Doctors are absolutely amazed at how well she has handled the last rounds of chemo. They keep preparing us for hte worst, we listen and continue to respond with God's promises over her. Fortunately, our Doctors are in agreement with us. I am still putting a skiiny pig tail on top of her head...who knows, she may never totally lose it. That would be so like God to spare me from that hurt, but its only an earthly set back, its not eternal.

My first born, Natey, turned 14 today....can somone please explain to my heart that its time to let him grow up. Oh my heart, I love this boy so very much. I will never ever forget his quick delivery in to this world. He came out with a perfect head, perfect face, and eye's wide open...ready to take on the world. He's been that way ever since. He has been performing for us since in the womb and he never stops. He brings us so much joy, he is a wonderful son, a helpful and kind big brother and a ver doting and loving big brother to his sister. Heavenly Father, I know he's "on lone" to us from you...just want to thank you for trusting your spirit in him with us. We took Nate and our fam to dinner at the Melting Pot tonight for a special celebration. The boys loved it, and Bella enjoyed walking around the restaurant to hear everyone say "awwwwe, she is so cute"!

I am on my lap top, pics are on my desk top down stairs. so you will have to wait for pics till Sunday and they will be from our ski trip day.

Thanks friends for checking, I like to post more often as I know you are checking in and I want you to see someting, but most days, I just run out of time to gather my thoughts together to type.

I am working on this issue as I love to blog.

Quick Update

2009-02-20T20:20:00.004-05:00

I apologize for not updating sooner. I truly appreciate all of my faithful bloggers and your comments means so much to me. Life has been a bit busy, but fortunately, its been a GREAT 7 weeks with Bella. All glory to God.

Bella started Delayed Intensification yesterday, this is phase 4 of 6. This next 60 days is a repeat of the first two months with a couple additional chemo's. Bella is also on Steroids again, however, they are 7 days on 7 days off, rather than a full 30 days. So far, she is doing really good, she's just really tired and does not have a big appetite. The doctors say she will lose her hair this round...we shall see, they said that the first 2 months and she still has a decent head of hair. They also say her counts will drop again thus making her prone to infection and illness...so we will be housebound again in a couple weeks. Monday she receives another bone marrow aspiration, I don't even know what number this is now, she has had so many I have lost track. We are so thankful to be at one of the top notch hospitals in the country for Hematology and Oncology, Bella has always been sedated for these procedures, she does not even know what happens. It's always a little entertaining to me as she does not like being knocked out and tries to fight it. Her eye's get really big and she gives me this angry look, I count to 5 and she's always out by 6. She is always miss happy lovey girl when she wakes up.

On a side note, I just completed week 3 of training for a 5k I am doing in May with my cousins and sister-in-law. This is huge for me as I have disliked running very much in the past...I am group exercise all the way. It's getting easier, I am actually starting to believe that I will be able to accomplish 3 miles without stopping to walk. A week ago, I just couldn't even imagine it, but I knew that "all things are possible with God".

I leave you this evening with a recent video of Bella playing Jake's drums last week. She was so pleased with herself and made sure to hit every drum and symbol.

God bless you all, I pray you hear God's whisper as to you how much we appreciate you, we treasure all of you.

Family Pictures

2009-02-12T13:26:00.008-05:00

"So now faith, hope and love abide; but the greatest of these is love."
1 COR 13:13

My friend Jen took these photos for us about 6 weeks after Bella began treatment. I wanted to have photos taken before she lost her hair, the unfortunate thing is that she was on steroids which not only alters her look but also her personality. These pics definitely captured that time, but more importantly, they captured the love we have for each other and Bella as well as the adoration the boys have for their little sister. I praise God daily for giving me my hearts desire in my husband and children.

My Everything

2009-02-11T15:43:00.001-05:00

It's Quiet

2009-02-08T21:57:00.003-05:00

Well, the boys left yesterday afternoon for Colorado and have already called us today talking about their first ski day. They are having a great time and make wonderful memories. It has left Dave and I wondering what to do with all the quiet. Believe it or not, we feel like we have a bunch of time on her hands. Since the weather has been sunny and in the 40's, we started Spring Cleaning. In the last 2 days, we have managed to clean out the garage, the boys media and music room, and their 2 bedrooms! Purging feels so good and is great therapy.

Bella continues to do great. To be perfectly honest, the last 7 weeks have been so good that its easy to forget most days that Bella is a chemo patient. She still has a descent head of hair, (it has thinned out a lot, but no bald spots), she's eating and drinking great, walking and talking non-stop, playful, happy and just all around fun. Dave and I were watching her walk around outside on the driveway and the last time we remember watching her so happy and strong was the end of September 08'. We are treasuring these moments and absolutely giving God all the glory! He is faithful to His Word and we continue to speak it over her on a daily basis.

We got out the "potty" last week, just for Bella to become familiar with, she is in no way ready for potty training. She still pee's immediately when taking her diaper off and doesn't think anything of it. Friday afternoon I was working on my lap and I heard her calmly saying "stuck"..."stuuuuuck". When I turned around, this is what I found. Sweet girl, she makes us laugh all the time.

Comic Relief!

2009-02-04T16:20:00.002-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83JDXXKzOXg

Trust me, this is worth watching. It is the best medicine of the day. I could not figure out how to post the youtube box on my blog, but this is the direct link. Make sure you watch it all the way through.

Enjoy!

EXCITED!

2009-02-03T22:07:00.006-05:00

Introducing "Slash"

"What you talking about Willis?" Thanks MaryAnn for the perfect quote!
This is Bella and my friend Sue.

Brothers, I wish I could say this was a "loving moment', but NO, it was Nate teasing Jake.

Jake

Nate

The Beaver Creek Skiers...ready or not, here they come.

Do you think they are EXCITED! My Dad took the boys tonight to "get some gear", new ski helmets, snow pants, goggles, gloves and hand warmers. They are good to go! They came right home and put everything on and ran around the house in them for a half hour. It's been 4 years since Dave and I have skii'd, as far as we are concerned, Beaver Creek is the closest experience we have had to the "physical" side of heaven. You just cant help but feel closer to heaven when you are on top of the world and flying down at a breath taking speed. There is just no better feeling than skiing. So excited for the boys, just hope my Dad's prepared for them wanting to go with him every year. Ha!

Once again, no side effects for Ms. Bella, she had a great day. Spent some time with my buddy Sue (and oh can she cook!), and tonight, Bella posed as "Slash" (Guns n Roses Guitar Player). Never a dull moment in this house.

Oodles of Noodles

2009-02-01T23:39:00.003-05:00

Uh Oh! Dad caught me!

Interesting use of noodles, they make for nice finger nails.

It's so much fun to put these in Mom's boots

So our Bella girl has a fetish with noodles, particularly, Rigatoni noodles. Tonight we caught her in the pantry again....she is just so darn cute.

Tomorrow marks the last day of the third phase of chemo. Here's the part I love, they did not anticipate they would be able to give her this last dose....most kids do not get it because they have not tolerated the other 4 doses! Oh I just love how big our God is. There is nothing more powerful than His spoken word. So after tomorrow, we get a week off of chemo and then we go in to the last phase of chemo before maintenance. Were have almost 4 months in and only 1 yr and 11 months to go to completion. We are praying and believing God for a big celebration trip when this journey is completed. Maybe a Disney Cruise?

The boys are off to Beaver Creek Colorado with my Dad and two of my brothers this Saturday. They are overly excited and as happy as Dave and I are for them, our hearts are a little sad. This will be Sammy's first time on an airplane and the first time skiing and we will miss it. We have had so many wonderful firsts with our children, so I am thrilled for my Dad who gives so very much to all of us to have these firsts with one of his grandsons. I am also thrilled for my boys to get this one on one time with my Dad. When I was a child and even today, I was willing to go any where with my Dad, even if it was just the gas station for what us midwesterners call a "pop". There is nothing better than special time with a grandparent...and to add a major bonus, they get two of my brothers whom they adore. I'd say they are three blessed little boys and I cant wait to hear all their wonderful stories. One things I can promise them, there will be many laughs. My brother Tom is always asking at the end of the ski day "who wants to smell my neck warmer"? For those of you that dont know what that is, its a scarf that goes up over your mouth to keep your face warm. It tends to collect just a little saliva by the end of the ski day. I was never inline for that adventure.

Leaving you with a scripture verse that I cant get out of my head today "Ask, and it will be given to you, seek and you shall find, knock and the door will be opened to you". Matt 7:7 How has God used this scripture to expand and change your life? If you haven't thought about it, I challenge you to mediatate on it for awhile and see what answers the Holy Spirit gives you.

Blessings to All!

Favorite Photo Friday

2009-01-30T14:06:00.005-05:00

The boys and my Dad after he announced to them that he was taking them to Beaver Creek Colorado next week for a ski trip.

Below is a video of Bella playing boxing on the Wii

New Blog Design

2009-01-28T21:44:00.002-05:00

I have received so many wonderful comments about our new Blog Design, I want to make sure to give credit where credit is due, and its not me. I did donate the wonderful faces, however, my friend Jamie with Centsibly Chic Designs did this for us. She did an amazing job and I so appreciate her time and efforts. You can visit her business site at the link below.
http://www.centsiblychicdesign.blogspot.com/

Quick Update

2009-01-25T23:57:00.003-05:00

Just a quick note to let all of you faithful friends know that Bella is doing GREAT! The doctors are amazed at how well she has handled this bout of chemo, they said most children do not tolerate it this well. We can only attribute this to our Lord and Savior and the power of God's Word. We speak scripture over our sweet girl daily and only believe and speak the positive. She is having absolutely NO side effects from the chemo, we are enjoying every second. She is walking all over the place, getting stronger, and starting to really talk. She speaks so many words now: Natey, Jakey, Grandpa (Pa_Pop), gentle, pop, baby,no,hi,bye bye, Sponge Bob (Bob Bob), ball, book, shoe, socks, bubbles, uh-oh (my personal favorite, she is so expressive, lips and all), Big Bird, Elmo and of course, Mama and Dada. She is laughing all the time (especially at her brothers) and gives lots of hugs with love pats on the back. She is really in to her kitchen and her baby dolls. She is such an affectionate little girl and as you have all seen, loves to be snuggled and held...however, when her boys are around, she loves to walk around, play hide and seek, wrestle, play the wii (yes, she boxes with her brothers on the wii, that's my next video) and be chased. The only bad thing is, she's a toddler. I miss my baby, the time was not long enough. I keep telling Dave she needs a little sister, he's not there yet. I guess that means God doesnt have her ready yet. :) We shall wait and see what He has planned.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-01-21T13:24:00.003-05:00

Ok, so this is my first post for "Wordless Wednesday". I truly dont even know what to say about this.

Last week, I visited with two of my girl friends who also have children from Hannah's Hope in Guatemala. Our girls were at one time all at the Orphanage together. They were amazed at how peaceful and content Bella was. Bella is a very good baby, but she has one little issue....she wants to be held ALL the time, and she has been this way since we picked her up last April 28th. I love it that she is so snuggly and loves her Mama so, but what am I to do being that I must get dressed.

Still doing GREAT!

2009-01-19T23:01:00.003-05:00

It's been a great week! Looking at Bella you would never know she is a chemo patient...all the positive biblical confessions we pray and speak over her daily is evident in her demeanor and ability to handle her treatment. She had a pretty strong dose of chemo last week, the doctors expected a different reaction than she is giving. I didn't, I know our God and I know His Word is alive and active. Bella was happy all week and walking all over the place. This week she has double chemo on Thursday as she has a spinal tap and her chemo push.

Did you say Chemo?

2009-01-13T22:37:00.003-05:00

Look who's walking!!!! One more reason to say every day "He who is in me is greater than he who is in the world"! Chemo may weaken the normal body, but when your child of God, you have super natural strength and endurance. Go Bella Girl...and then slow down so that you can still be my baby.

Uh-oH!

2009-01-09T23:32:00.001-05:00

Oh this girl....she makes me laugh. I have really been working on Bella learning words the past few weeks. Therefore, I emphasize all my words with my mouth so that she can see how to use her lips and tongue to say words. Well, that has resulted in a Bella walking around all day with her lips out like the pictures above. She looks like she is in "Uh Oh" motion all day long. I was also cleaning out the refrigerator the other day, while dumping out food in the garbage disposal, Bella decided she would climb in to the refrigerator. A great sign that she is feeling better.

It's been a rather uneventful month for Bella. She has really done well, we had quit a few "throw ups" in the car seat, but we have finally figured out a way to solve that problem by giving her anti nausea meds before we get in the car and placing a rubber bib over her as well as a towel so that I am not continuously washing her coat and car seat. These episodes are a result of the chemo. Monday is clinic day and she gets a pretty strong dose of chemo that day...believing for the best and letting God take care of the rest. February-April will be her most intense months of treatment, the good news is, after that, she begins maintenance and we go to once a month. We are seeing the light...summer should be a good time for all of us.

As for the rest of the household, we are praising God for all our blessings. I must admit, I have personally struggled with a few losses....like my CAR! Right before Christmas my 2001 Pontiac Montana died...being that it has 163,000 miles on it, we decided it was not a good idea to fix it as the cost to fix the problem is high. However, with my not working and Dave being paid in commission, we decided it was best to try and survive on one car for the time being. Not so fun when he works 25 minutes away and you have 4 kids in school, sports and hospital trips. Not too mention that his car is the "point A to point B" car and is a small Ford Taurus Station Wagon. Like fun only different and very humbling. Yet when you stand back and look at the big picture, it is only "but a time" and we are not "of this world only in this world". I am focusing on who I am in Christ and not what car I drive...some days are easier than others. I am a spiritual being living in a physical body, and that physical body would like more functional wheels that are a little more aesthetically pleasing. :)

I want to thank everyone again for all the lovely and wonderful things you have sent Bella. My heart just leeps with thanksgiving and joy every time a package comes in the mail. Nancy, we received your package and the outfit is adorable as is the bear. We also received "Broviach"(Bella's official name for her port) covers from a nurse (I am so sorry, I cant remember your name off the top of my head) in Oklahoma a few months ago...they have made caring for her port so much easier not to mention comfortable for Bella. Thank you thank you!

Lastly, I am so very excited for a dear and special friend of mine, Amy. She is officially pregnant with her second...a baby boy from Ethiopia was born in her heart this week. I am going to love every second of sharing this journey with her and her beautiful family.

Thanks for checking in on us, I know posts have been few and far between lately, I appreciate your loyalty and prayers.

God Bless! Susie

Trolly, Santa and Update

2009-01-01T14:14:00.000-05:00

"For unto us a child is born". It truly in mind boggling to me that God himself would leave His holy throne, and submit himself to not only the life of a human, but to start at the very beginnings of earthly life...and humbly I might add. When I truly think about this truth, I realize just how loving and truly understanding my heavenly Father is. He lived this life, he felt our hurts, sorrow, joy and fear. He knows what we are up against, and He set himself to set things straight. It's easy to get wrapped up in the "American" tradition of Christmas....Santa, gifts, hustle and bustle, too much money spent, too many sweets eaten, Christmas music in stores before Halloween in efforts to push spending....its ok to celebrate Christmas this way, my family does too. Some of us want to focus on the spiritual side of Christmas, but truly, the real meaning of Christmas is a day to be celebrated the whole year through. Not just on one day of the year, but every minute of every day of our lives. In all honesty, I find it much easier to teach my children the love of Christ on a daily basis than on this one month of th year that is filled with so many distractions. So every year, my family celebrates the greatest gift given and received, Jesus...but we also celebrate the gift of living in this country and all the traditions that come with it. And we spend daily life taking the gift of Christ and glorifying our heavenly Father to the best of our ability.

I can't even believe its been over a week since I last posted. I can not let myself get this behind again, its too hard to catch up! Our holiday season was wonderful, we celebrated Christmas with my family on the 21st complete with a catored dinner from a Tapas restaurant, gifts for the children, Adult Yankee Swap (I highly recommend this, we laughed a lot) and ended it with a 2 hour Surprise Trolly Ride through the streets of Grand Rapids singing Christmas Carols, delivering gifts to a less fortunate family and checking out the major Christmas light display at our very own minor league baseball field, the "White Caps". It was a very snowy night, it could not have been more magical.

Christmas Eve was spent with just the 6 of us. We went to Christmas Eve Service, out to Dinner and then home for games, jammies and cookies for Santa. I am as excited as my kids for Christmas morning, I rarely get more than 2 hours of sleep if any. This year was no exception...I finally fell asleep at 6 am and my boys were up at 7 am jumping on our bed. Our rule is 7 am. Bella was a little confused but woke up rather quilkly. The boys were thrilled with their gifts but a little disappointed Santa did not bring a Wii. Then I pointed out the tiny gift under the tree that they missed and the race was on. Santa had sent them on a treasure hunt through out the house looking for a gift. As it turns out, our family did receive a Wii and a Wii Fit....santa left clues in all of our bedrooms and we found the big box in the basement! I am not an electronic game player, but I love this system....rediculously fun and entertaining. My family actually got together the day after Christmas and had a Wii bowling tournament.

We spent New Years home, quietly. Bella had chemo that morning and both of us were wore out.

I am so happy to see that all of you had such a wonderful holiday season as well. Praying for health, prosperity and joy for all of you this 2009.

Blessings to all!

I just thought this was so funny! 27 pairs of boots lined up at my parents in preparation for the "Surprise Event"....the Trolley Ride

All aboard the "Polar Express"!

My Mom "Grandma Nance" and Great Grandma Betty

My sister Mary, brother Peter, Nate and Bella

Sam and Dave on the Trolley

Bella and her favorite Uncle, Peter

Snow Princess

My Dad and Joe Joe

Niece Morgan and my Jake

Aunt Erin, nieces Emma and Lauren

Dave and I

The Fam....after a 2 hour fun filled Trolley Ride!

The typical "Cry Picture"....everyone needs one of these

I know I shouldnt laugh...but it was a little funny

Every year my Mom makes all the grandchildren their Christmas jammies, this is a picture of all the girls...unfortunately, I did not get a picture of the boys in their matching blue snowflake jammies.

Jake on the Wii Fit. Ha!

Bella checking out Sammy's ipod

Santa Came! I am thinking its a midwestern tradition to wrap all the gifts and a southern tradition to put the gifts under the tree unwrapped. Its been fun to visit everyone's blog sites and see the differences.

Christmas Eve after Dinner

Merry Christmas

2008-12-25T19:22:00.000-05:00

Its ABSOLUTELY POSITVELY ................

2008-12-19T13:57:00.000-05:00

Three Boys and a Princess

Jake in his Igloo

Sam in his Igloo

the Princess in her Santa Suit-Thanks Candy and Kya Blue

Going to be a WHITE Christmas! It's beautiful outside, come March 1st, I struggle with that comment, but today, its a marshmallow world here in Michigan. We received almost a foot of snow from 6 am this morning till about noon today. We already had about 6" on the ground. The boys last day of school before Christmas break turned in to a snow day, so we took Bella out to play. She really likes the snow, its the wind she does not care for. It's quit entertaining to me that this sweet daughter of mine was born in the country of "eternal spring", and here she is in snow that is over her head. It's expected to continue all the way through Christmas Day with a few breaks. Being that we are on the west side of the state, we experience lake effect snow showers.

Above are pictures from our adventure outdoors today.

Thank you Lord that we live in a state the experiences all 4 seasons....your art work is amazing!

Phase 2 Complete!

2008-12-15T21:58:00.000-05:00

Sorry I have not posted in a while. We had family Christmas over the weekend.

Bella completed her second phase of treatment today, we are on to interim maintenance which will involve intervenious chemo every 10 days and a spinal tap every 4 weeks. We have 2 months of this before we go on to the next phase which repeats the first month of treatment. Bella did great today and has been in a sweet fun mood all day. Upon coming home from clinic, she received a package in the mail from our friends, the Wheelers! Thank you Lindsey, Chris and Eliana...this was a wonderful gift for Bella and one she will treasure always. It's a wonderful reminder that our hope is Jesus.

As you can see from the pics, Bella is maintaing keeping her hair. She has lost a 1/3 of it, but it has just thinned out, not fallen out in clumps. Some children hold on to their hair longer than others, another wonderful blessing from God.

Sweet little Abby continues to need prayer as well as her family, she is back in the hospital. We are also asking for prayer for our friend Hannah who is fighting Rhabdo, she too is back in the hospital.

I so appreciate you checking in and hope to post wonderful pics soon with more good news on the chica.

Blessings to all, Susie

And then there was NONE!

2008-12-09T00:32:00.000-05:00

It was there, now its gone!

First Sled Ride

Catching Snow Flakes

Not so sure about the sled

After decorating the tree....sorry Candy, she really is cute in the dress.

My Babies...tube No more!

Three NIGHTS....4 DAYS....these are the number of days I spent in the hospital with Bella last week to have her feeding tube put in place. Not only did she have to have the procedure, but she needed to be rehydrated, they had to observe how her body would handle the feeding tube and lastly, a spinal tap. At 8:45 pm this evening....she PULLED IT OUT! She was sitting right on my lap, she started having a sneezing attack, I looked down at her and she was looking straight at me with her eye's wide open, a serious look on her face and the tube hanging from her tiny fingers. She knew what she had done. Every time she gets her hands near that tube I start telling her no. The boys were running around saying what do we do. My answer....'she's going to bed!' Of the 6 weeks since Bella was diagnosed, I have spent 3 of those weeks in the hospital with her. Two of those visits were because Bella would not eat or drink, this feeding tube was the solution. In the morning, I will have to call Bella's Oncologist.

In addition, we had a challenging weekend with Bella. She is pretty much on my hip as she only wants to be held by myself of Dave. If I leave the room, she breaks in to tears. She is terrified of going to bed and taking a tub. She wakes up in the middle of the night screaming and we cant calm her down. If Bella was a defiant child, we might see this differently, but she's not. It hurts my heart to hear her crying this way, I know that there is something wrong, but she is only 15 months and cant tell me.

I felt slightly defeated tonight and frustrated. My tank felt empty...I was running on fumes. After getting all 4 kids to bed, I grabbed my bible and headed for the tub. I was desperate for an answer from God. "I cant do this anymore...I am tired Lord, I am not strong enough for this." And He said "Your strength will come from settling down in complete dependence on me". Ish 30:15, The Message Bible. Just what I needed to hear, its not my job to figure this out...its not my worry, its His. I am to lean on, trust on and rely on Him. How very easy it is to want to take control of the situation, after all, if were made in His image, we can figure this out. And then, things begin to really spiral out of control and were yelling "Lord, I cant take this anymore" and He say's "I never asked you too, you did this all by your self." And then he calms us down and say's "My mercies are new every day". I personally take comfort in this knowing that God's time is not our earthly time, so "every day" can mean "right now".

I have a quote I used to keep on my mirror, its now etched in my brain (but after today, I think I need to put it back on my mirror). "Good Morning! This is God...I will be handling your problems today and I do not need your help". No He does not, it seems I get in the way every time I try to help Him out. So tonight, I go to bed forgiven for momentarily forgetting where my strength comes from and I "count it all joy" knowing that God is up to something wonderful.

Please lift this family up

2008-12-07T18:30:00.000-05:00

I am deeply saddened by the news of one of my blogging buddies, Carla. Her daughter Josi was killed in Guatemala...her adoption was awaiting an embassy apt, she was due home before Christmas. Please visit their site and offer words of encouragement and prayer. My heart is heavy for them, but they are strong in their faith and I know they will receive the peace of Christ.

http://azhderianfamily.blogspot.com/

All is Calm, All is Bright

2008-12-04T01:28:00.000-05:00

UPDATE, Dec. 6....Were home! We were discharged Thursday evening the 4th. I will post more later, but please pray for Bella...she is emotionally traumatized and scared to fall asleep or go in the tub. All things she did when first coming home from Guatemala. There have been so many physical set backs for her, but we know this season will pass and God in all His glory will be revealed. She is also struggling with the new feeding tube and we were up twice last night with her throwing up. On a praise note, she is standing and walking along furniture again! Slow but sure.

It's snowing out, as it has been all week. I am on the 7th floor of the hospital with one of the greatest views in the city. I look out for miles, I can even see the hills of the lake shore coastline. Tonight, I look out the window of this hospital room and I see glittering snow falling gently on my city. Even though its 1:30 am, the city is completely lit up. I cant help but sit here and think how blessed I am to experience this sight from this room rather than my front living room window. It's peaceful, magical and hopeful.

This is the perfect end to a special evening. Bella did much better today, but she is still struggling with any medical professionals coming near her or in our room. This is something we had worked through after her first admission, but after the events of yesterdays feeding tube procedure, she has lost faith in the staff, but I have not. She will in time come to trust them, but I cant blame her one bit for the fear she is not yet able to control.

Bella is struggling with sleeping here at the hospital, she does not want to nap and she wakes up often crying. I dont think she is uncomfortable, I think she is just scared and out of sorts. Going home is going to be good for both of us. Tonight after waking for the second time at 10 pm, I decided bedtime wasn't worth fighting, I was going to make the best of it. I am so very glad I did. Bella and I spent an hour and half rolling around on the bed laughing, doing zerbet kisses, playing peekaboo, giving Molly the bear crackers and listening to her heart beat, snuggling and just being girls. It was absolutely delightful, a treasured time. Who would have thought that so many wonderful memories and bonding moments could come out of a Luekemia diagnosis. So I say again "How big is my God?"! Only He could bring joy and good out of this current "circumstance". I just love how He loves me so.

So the Princess now sleeps....all is calm on this snowy night....All is bright.

We can do all things....

2008-12-02T22:01:00.000-05:00

Through Christ who strengthens us. That was the verse for the day...I spent a great deal of time whispering this in to Bella's ear as well as my own heart. And through His strength, we made it through a tough day.

Bella received her feeding tube today through her little nose. Unfortunately, it was a physically traumatic event for her, not because it hurt, but because she was afraid. The procedure is no more painful than a single IV, however, it does require for no parent to be in the room as well as being strapped down. I really thought I would be ok, I knew this was the best thing for both Bella and I. In order for both of us to be home, she needs to receive her meds, fluids and nutrition...this tube will achieve that, but seeing terror in your daughters eye's and walking away from her side is painful. I can only imagine how God must have felt when He turned his face away from His son in order for salvation to be achieved for all who choose to believe. When I looked in to Bella's eye's, I could truly feel God's compassion for the moment, yet my physical heart was hurting so.

It took me 2 hours and a dose of Benadryl to calm Bella down after that event. She took a 2 hour nap and then we took a walk around the same hospital halls, but in a fun kids wheel chair. We also spent some time in the playroom where she quickly decided to take a tug at her new tube while I was looking for toys. When I turned around, it was hanging down to her chin! Ugh...I quickly stuffed the tube back down and brought her to our room and called the nurses. That resulted in a new bandage change to secure the tubing...and another 1 1/2 hours of me calming Bella down. But, she sleeps.....and I have prayed over her to have "the peace of Christ that passes understanding". She has no way to process all this, she cant understand, but I rest in knowing that as she grows in to a beautiful young woman, she will never remember this time.

My husband calls her our "miracle baby". How different her life is because God placed her in the arms of our family, in this town, at this time. This journey is not by any means fun, but we find the joy in it everyday...and we have seen the face of Christ more times than we can even recite. We have the privilege of growing our faith deeper than we could have ever imagined. And we have the absolute gift of raising and loving Bella and our boys. So all is well, God is good all the time, and He makes good of all things. I love seeing on a daily basis just how big our God is!

My sister-in-law sent me the message below. I hope it brings you as much victory and power as it brought me. It was a good reminder of just exactly who I am. "With all that I am, I praise the Lord".

THE BELL
I KNOW WHO I AM
I am God's child (John 1:12)
I am Christ's friend (John 15:15 )
I am united with th e Lord (1 Cor. 6:17)
I am bought with a price (1 Cor 6:19-20)
I am a saint (set apart for God). (Eph. 1:1)
I am a personal witness of Christ. (Acts 1:8)
I am the salt & light of the earth (Matt 5:13-14)
I am a member of the body of Christ (1 Cor 12:27)
I am free forever from condemnat ion ( Rom. 8: 1-2)
I am a citizen of Heaven.. I am significant (Phil 3:20)
I am free from any charge against me (Rom.. 8:31 -34)
I am a minister of reconciliation for God (2 Cor 5:17-21)
I have access to God through the Holy Spirit (Eph. 2:18)
I am seated with Christ in the heavenly realms (Eph. 2:6)
I cannot be separated from the love of God (Rom 8:35-39)
I am established, anointed, sealed by God (2 Cor 1:21-22 )
I am assured all things work together for good (Rom. 8:28 )
I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit (John 15:16 )
I may approach God with freedom and confidence (Eph. 3: 12 )
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Phil.. 4:13)
I am the branch of the true vine, a channel of His life (John 15: 1-5)
I am God's temple (1 Cor. 3: 16). I am complete in Christ (Col. 2: 10)
I am hidden with Christ20in God (Col. 3:3). I have been justified (Romans 5:1)
I am God's co-worker (1 Cor. 3:9; 2 Cor 6:1). I am God's workmanship (Eph. 2:10)
I am confident that the good works God has begun in me will be perfected. (Phil. 1: 5)
I have been redeemed and forgiven ( Col 1:14). I have been adopted as God's child (Eph 1:5)
I belong to God
Do you know
Who you are!?

Keep this bell ringing...pass it on
'The LORD bless you and keep you;
The LORD make His face shine upon you
And be gracious to you;
The LORD turn His face toward you
And give you peace..'
Numbers 6:24-26

"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!'

Back Again

2008-12-01T13:55:00.000-05:00

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving and have so very much to be thankful for. I plan to post on that later.

We are back in the hospital. Bella is still not eating and drinking very little. Yesterday she only took 8 oz.'s over the course of the day. She has been admitted back in to the hospital for fluids and to have a swallow therapy test done to find out why she is not drinking. We also cant keep any medicine in her as she throws up every time we give it to her. We are so blessed with an incredible medical team and have complete confidence in them finding out what the issue is. They believe it is a side effect of her chemo to her nerve endings. She also is still not standing or walking again yet, physical therapy has been ordered as well. At this time, they are planning to put in a feeding tube in her nose so that we can get liquid, food and meds in to her system. I am hopeful we will not have to do this, but at this point, I just want to be able to care for her at home.

More later, thanks for your prayers and encouragement.

Spinal Tap and Clark Griswold

2008-11-24T22:50:00.002-05:00

Yup....that's us, the only 2 cars in the parking lot of the TREE farm. This lot is usually jam packed full with a skinny car trail down the center. Were it, us and the owners car.

SUCCESS!

My brother John and his family.

Do you see the glowing light around the "perfect" tree?

My 4 Blessings

The Ferrick Fam...

What a great weekend! Bella is feeling great and very much her little self again. Still not standing or walking, but very happy and content. Tomorrow she has another Bone Marrow draw and Spinal Tap for chemo. As a reminder, the first place these inactive Leukemia cells try to hide in is the spinal fluid. So last month Bella received chemo in her spine every two weeks, this month, she will have weekly spinal taps. I know all this sounds awful, but be rest assured, she feels nothing. We spend 1/2 a day at the hospital, but they "knock her out" for both the bone marrow and spinal tap". She goes to sleep in her Mama's arms and wakes up in her Mama's arm's. She has no residual pain from the procedure, only from the chemo. In the big picture, its all good and the hospital staff is incredibly wonderful. I just praise God all the time for His provision in getting our sweet girl home before this attack on her body took place. She could not be in better place for medical care.

On Saturday, my brother John and I and our families decided we would "beat the crowds" and cut down the annual family Christmas Tree. Every year, we head out on "Black Friday" after the girls are done shopping to tromp through the tree farm and find the perfect "Clark Griswold" Christmas Tree. Most years, we buy it off the lot as the best tree's have already been cut down. As you read this story, keep in mind this little venture was my idea, and because my brothers "heart is bigger than his brain", he agreed.

We got a late start, John was ahead of us on the road by about 5 minutes. I got a phone call from John "Sue, I just punched Marty Moose in the face". I laughed and kept talking and again I heard "No Sus, I really punched Marty Moose in the face, their closed, Opening Day is Friday". Between the two of us, we have 8 kids bundled up in their winter gear in the hopes and dreams of getting "The Tree". We have driven 40 minutes out of town and my sister and brother-in-law are on their way out to meet us for dinner after wards. John said there were workers outside, so I encouraged him to wait for us and Dave would talk to the workers and see if they would at least let us tag our tree to be cut on Friday. We pulled up to John's car at the tree farm and I yelled out the window "FIRST IN LINE"! Of course, my adorable smooth talking husband got the owner to let us cut down our trees. Not only that, we got to drive our vans all the way out to the Frazier Fur area. We avoided the crowds and didn't have to wait for the hay ride out to the trees and the dragging of the tree back to the front of the farm....we just drove on back. They even bailed the trees for us. Only my family. In case you do not know who Clark Griswold is or Marty Moose, its from the movie "Christmas Vacation" with Chevy Chase. This is an all time favorite of my family, if you have never seen it, I highly suggest you rent it this Christmas Season.

I heard a great quote today on our Christian Radio Station. "When God is seen small, problems seem big." We tend to focus on the problem and take our eye's off Christ. We underestimate the power of a Holy and Almighty God, we forget that if He created the heavens and the earth, He can certainly fix our problems. We turn to our flesh and how we can fix things instead of turning to His Word and confessing His promise for our life and believing Him for it. I am guilty of this as well, but with every big and little problem that comes my way, I lean closer and closer to Him as I know the success of His Word. It was a good reminder to me to turn that quote around and say "With every little problem, God's glory is shown bigger"!

Still Here

2008-11-20T13:45:00.000-05:00

UPDATE for Friday, 11-21-08........WERE HOME!

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives STRENGTH to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who HOPE/WAIT/TRUST in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:28-31

It's really easy to grow weary when your living in the flesh, but when living in the spirit, you have super natural strength and perseverance. So many of you have expressed how strong I am, I appreciate the kind words, but I am only as strong as my savior. By nature, I am an over, under and around person. When I want something, I go after it till its done. Patience is not my natural virtue. God has done a great work in me over the last 2 years because I was willing to trust Him and not myself. I see now how that time prepared me for what we are enduring now. I do grow weary, I get tired, frustrated and down right sad, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is in this and that He will never leave me nor forsake me. I know I cant do it, but He can, does and will. Not because I deserve it, but simply because I am His daughter. My hope is you Lord.

Thank you Karen for sharing this scripture with me. Although I have read it several times, it has a new meaning for me today.

Were still here at the hospital. The doctors have determined that Bella does not have any viruses and that all this is a result of the chemo. Mother's intuition is always right. :) So the isolation banner has been removed from our door and the nurses and doctors entering no longer have to "suit" to come in our room and we are free to walk the hallways. They dont look any different than they did 2 days ago. They are putting her on another new medication that will settle her nervous system and lessen the pain so that her body can relax to stop the diarrhea as well as allow her to start standing and walking again. Since she is in remission (just want to give the Lord another shout for this...AMEN!), they are going to lessen her intervenious chemo this month as they feel it is more toxic to her system than beneficial. She will be taking an oral chemo this month as well as weekly spinal taps of chemo. Bella still does not want to eat or drink very much, I am pushing the fluids big time as that is our ticket out of here tomorrow. The best part of today has been that Bella is returning to her self. She has not been herself since mid September. She is officially off the steroids for a month and thus regaining her personality which is mild tempered, silly and incredibly sweet.

In the hospital....but good news!

2008-11-18T15:12:00.000-05:00

UPDATE FROM YESTERDAY'S POST

We are still at the hospital for another night. Both the c-diff and roto virus came back negative. She is doing better today, only one poop and it did not explode out the sides...of course, now that were in the hospital and I have someone else to clean the linens. :) She is starting to eat and drink again and is sitting next to me playing with her i.v. cord. Ugh....I really dont care for that port, I still looks like the ambilical chord to me. Thanks for all the prayers, God hears you and so do we.

The good news, Bella is officially in REMISSION!!!! Praise you Jesus! The bad news is, we have been admitted into the hospital for at least the night. Bella has something going on with her intestinal system and they do not know what yet. She has no appetite and will not drink, I called the doctor because I was worried about dehydration...sure enough, she was. So were here until they figure out what's going on and stabilize her fluids. She will be just fine...just a little bump in the road.

Strength and Joy

2008-11-17T22:38:00.000-05:00

Bella in the ER Sunday afternoon, check out these steroid cheeks!

God promised us that He would provide us with enough strength and joy for the day, so all we have to do is receive it. That couldn't have been more true this past weekend. Physically, were tired, but our hope and trust is in Jesus. Bella has not been feeling well since last Friday. She has had terrible diarrhea and an awful sounding respiratory cough. We have had more dirty cloths from this little peanut than the 3 boys combined. Yet somehow we have room in our emotional lives to laugh and enjoy life...and that can only come from the Father.

Bella began the weekend throwing up, she has had diarrhea this entire month, more on than off. She has lost her voice and has a terrible sounding cough...but no fever. The doctors are not sure if these are viral or a reaction from the chemo. On Sunday morning, I noticed her lips were chapped (a clear sign that her hemoglobin is down) and she was rather lethargic. I called the on call Pediatric Oncologist and asked if we could take her to ER for a blood draw and IV fluid, they didn't even question me. So Bella and I got to spend 6 hours of quality time in the ER, having a blood transfusion and fluids pumped in to her system. She improved and slept through the night. She ate and drank very little over the weekend, and has been the same today. This morning she had her bone marrow drawn, a breathing treatment and a spinal tap. We ended up spending another 5 hours at clinic today as again, more fluids were needed. We left with an additional medication on top of the 8 she already takes. She has completed her first month of treatment and is now being weened off the steroid. This month provides a break from the interveinous chemo, only spinal tap chemo's will be done weekly. Next month, we repeat this past month with a more aggressive treatment.

Thank you so much for checking in, we truly enjoy and rely on your comments. I recognize how God uses all of you to bring us strength...especially on the hard days.

Please pray for our friend Abby, her blog button is at the top of our blog page.

Blessings to All, Susie

A Single Lock

2008-11-13T22:41:00.000-05:00

This is a lock of hair from our Bella. I cut 2 locks off her head last night, in case one got lost. I want to always have a physical memory of her "first head of hair". Her hair is beginning to thin on top, I didn't want to take a chance that it would start falling out in clumps before I got the lock cut.

4 weeks ago tonight, we sat in the hospital with the first news of our daughters diagnosis. She has had 4 transfusions since then, 4 chemo injections, daily bandage changes, 8-9 meds a day...and is now making her OWN good blood! AMEN! Monday, she will have another bone marrow biopsy to evaluate the active leukemia cells. I have no doubt in my spirit that this little girl will be in remission. We still have a long road ahead with treatment and unknown days, but the active leukemia will be out of her bone marrow and we thank God for all he has done and will continue to do.

As I placed the lock of hair in an envelope, I remembered that amost a year ago (around Christmas time) God gave me the scripture from the O.T. "I will repair and replace the years the locust have stole". Christmas time always brings about emotions, last year, Bella was 4 months old, still in PGN and abviously not home. My heart hurt, my emotions high at times...I was losing this precious time with my baby girl and I would never get it back. And then God gave me that verse "I will repair and replace". And here I am, with that scripture again. Forced to be home with her, not able to work for the time being, caring for her night and day, waking up with her in the middle of the night, back to bottle feedings because it comforts her, several diaper changes a day from all the fluids, changing bed sheets daily because she wets through them every night (again from all the fluids), re-teaching her how to crawl and kneel and stand, figuring out what foods she likes because the chemo has changed her taste buds and I think...."WOW! I see it Lord, not the way I would have liked, not my idea, but I see it. You have replaced the time lost". Here I am, doing all those new born things with Bella and she is 14 months old. She will even get a new head of hair and I will get to experience all of it, with her. We are getting time together that is not necessarily "normal", but definitely intimate and bonding. Many moments she is not herself due to the medical treatment, but there are many moments of joy and sweetness between just the two of us. And I cant thank God enough for providing the way for me to be home to care for my daughter. One minute at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time. "Today is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it".

Again and Again, I cant thank all of you enough for supporting us in this journey. It just bring us so much strength and ecouragement and we stand stronger and taller because we know we are being prayed for and loved on. God Bless you.

FIRE AND MORE!

2008-11-10T22:17:00.001-05:00

Note to self, never leave a toaster oven when in use.

The result is melted to the pan.

Mom, are you serious...YES! And the funny thing is, she will keep these hats on, but not her bows or head bands. I wish I captured the smile she gave when I put it on her. Thank you Alex, Sam and Rachel for the adorable hat. Mom LOVES it!

This is Bella's new "bed head". This is why I say it has a new texture. She has smooth as silk hair and now it rats so easily. Oh my eighties girl.

All bundled up for a walk with friends.

Today started with the boys being home from school for a "in service day" and Bella having her chemo apt. Because it was also the house cleaning day, they would have to go with Bella and I to the hospital....so off we went. Fortunately, Bella did not need a transfusion today, so we were out in 2 hours. Get this, Bella gained 4 lbs. over the weekend! She eats non-stop, and I mean non-stop. She is rarely out of her high chair before her little hands are signing "more". This is an effect of the steroid and the doctors encourage her eating as she will lose weight in the coming months. More on Bella to come.

So finding humor in everything is a must in my family. We have been blessed with meals coming to our home 3 nights a week, one of which is Monday (clinic day). By 6:30 pm the meal had still not arrived and my boys were starving. So I decided we could wait no longer and quickly pulled out hamburg meat and taco shells. I had my 11 year old cooking the meat, my 9 year old entertaining Bella and I was trying to direct my 9 year old and my 11 year old in what they needed to do while answering a phone call from my Dad. Can you guess what happened next? I was standing right in front of the toaster oven talking with my Dad and I see my 13 year old flailing his arms yelling "Mom...Mom....MOM!" I continued to give him this look like "Nate, I am on the phone, hold on a minute". I finally turned to what he was pointing to and discovered the toaster oven was flaming..."Oh my gosh Dad, the toaster oven is on fire, I got to go!" Click... I completely forgot about the taco shells. The house looked like we had been running the fog machine all night, our home stinks like burnt popcorn, it snowed today and we have all the doors and windows open trying to get all the smoke and stink out, and now we have no taco shells. I quickly grabbed the toaster oven after putting out the fire inside, took it outside and just stared at it. With in seconds, my boys were out side with me, their was a brief moment of disbelief, Nate said "Mom, it looked like our gas log fireplace (and it did) and than a rousing boast of laughter. It was a scene directly out of a Steve Martin movie. We ended up having Nachos for dinner as the taco shells were now permanently part of my toaster oven. To say the least, a toaster oven is on my Christmas list. Any suggestions? (Candy....how do I get the smell out of my house? :) )

Bella, sweet little girl. I so appreciate all the prayers. She had her 3rd round of chemo this week. Her hair is now beginning to thin on top, it even has a different texture. Over the weekend, the "steroid monster" showed his ugly face and she was quit agitated and grouchy as well as VERY hungry. Like I said, she gained 4 lbs in 3 days. The doctor assures me that this will not last, good thing I purchased her cloths bigger for the long winter. She was very tired today, and she still will not stand or walk....she is so weak and her legs still hurt a little.

Tomorrow, a special friend and professional photographer will be taking photos of Bella and our family. We have not had any professional photos of Bella yet nor our family since she come home. I figured this was a good time, bef0re the hair was gone. My heart is still struggling over the loss of hair...but oh the joy all these hats have brought me. My husband say's, "honey, don't you think those are a little over the top?" Are you kidding me?! When you lose your hair, nothing is over the top. I love every one of these hats and I thank all of you profusely for your generosity and kind hearts for sending these to Bella. She also received an adorable bracelet with her name on it.

As always, I appreciate you checking in. God bless, and dont walk away from your toaster oven.

Strangers yet Friends

2008-11-07T09:36:00.001-05:00

"I thank my God every time I remember you" Phil 1:3

I find my self reading and re-reading this passage of scripture every day. Phil 1:1-11. This particular passage from the bible radiates my feelings of my blogging buddies. You see, I have not had the opportunity to meet the majority of these women, yet we share a common bond...we all have children from Guatemala, we all made that journey or are still in it, and we found each other because of it. We have followed each others blogs, supported and prayed for each other, encouraged each other when we are having down times, and rejoiced at the up times. Even after the adoptions, we keep up with each other with the hope that someday, we will all get to meet while still on this earth.

These blogging buddies of mine were some of the very first people to contact me when Bella was diagnosed. They offered, support, prayer, love and peace. The picture above are items that have been sent to Bella from my blogging friends. Priceless to me, with each package I opened I swelled up with tears. I would think to my self "they don't even know me yet they care". And then I reminded, "you do know them, in Me, they are your sisters". Yes, they do know me and I them, my hope and prayer is that some day, I will have the distinct pleasure and joy of meeting them in person. Until then, I pray the "God holds them in the palm of His hand" and I rejoice in the sisterhood we share.

Thank you my blogging friends, I wish I had the perfect words to tell you how much you mean to me. I hope you can hear my heart when I say that you are such treasures to me.

Susie

Witness

2008-11-05T00:44:00.000-05:00

Tonight, I witnessed history, and although Senator Obama was not my candidate of choice, he is my President Elect. I find it awesome and exciting that our country has surpassed the racial divides and has elected our first African American President...this alone is PROGRESS! So I stand with all my fellow Americans in supporting our new President. The bible clearly states that we are to respect our government, we dont have agree to everything, but we are to respect them. So I pray this evening as I will every day, that the mind of Christ is bound to our new President elect, that the Lord will "open the eye's of his heart so that he will come to know the hope to which He has called him too". This country has been blessed beyond measure, we give much and receive much. My family and I will stand with the new administration with the hope that we are standing with brothers and sisters of Christ, knowing that God's hand was in this election and that miraculous things will come of it. My hope is that for those of you who were like me and chose a different candidate, that you will follow suit and honor our God and this great country and pray "earnestly, with out ceasing" for our countries future and our new President. Change is good, and its all perfect when God is in it! Congratulations President Elect Obama.

Healing Manifesting!

2008-11-04T11:20:00.000-05:00

Bella was a little done with me trying on all her new hats at this point. This one is from
her Aunt Tiff.

New Wand from friend Gracie

Thank you Stella and Courtney for my new Notre Dame Cheer leading outfit!
I think Mom may be more excited than me. And my hat, oh that is from Amy N and Gracie. Again, Mom is more excited than me, but it will grow on me. Especially when my head is cold.

AMEN! We received news this morning that the chemo is killing off the active Leukemia cells! The treatment plan does not change at this time, we are still facing a 2 year and 3 month treatment, but the leukemia cells are responding to chemo as desired and expected by the doctors. Of course we did not expect anything different, for we serve a mighty God and we believe as always that His victory will prevail.

Bella and I spent 4.5 hours at the hospital yesterday for her bone marrow draw, spinal tap and chemo drip. It does make a for a long day, but the joy comes in the one of one time with my girlie and all the wonderful people we get to meet and pray with. We have a special family the night Bella was diagnosed and admitted in the hospital, her name is Hannah and she is 13 yrs old. She is fighting a particularly rare childhood cancer. When you pray for Bella, please pray for Hannah's healing as well. We are on this journey with them and we stand in faith and belief that Hannah is healed.

The steroid is really taking effect this little princess now. Although she still eats in small bites and one piece at a time, she is eating in large quantities and often. It's so funny to see her eat so much. She is still battling diarrhea and a nasty diaper rash, but it all appears to be improving. I spend a great deal of time giving meds, changing diapers, laundry and bed changing.

In conclusion, thank you my heavenly Father for your promises, we have never doubted your abilities or your promises. Thank you friends and family who have supported us during this time, thank you blogging buddies for all your encouragement and for constantly checking in on us, thank you to my husband and my boys who tolerate so much change and willingly sacrificing so much normality at this time. It's hard for 3 little boys to be stuck at home all day due to being home bound for the time. I am definitely grateful that they get to attend school every day.

Blessings, Susie

Lady Bug, Halloween, and Birthday!

2008-11-02T08:05:00.000-05:00

Pretty Little Ladybug....what happened to your teeth?

Look what I found outside?

Love of My Life....Happy 41st Birthday!!! So very glad you were born. You make my heart happy. I prayed for you and God gave me the desire of my heart in you. I love you!

Dave with "The Boys and His Princess".

Trick or Treating with the cousins.

Joe Joe is not so sure about his cousin Bella.

Grandma and Bella

Halloween not only marks Trick or Treating, costumes and fun for our family, but its also my husbands birthday. Like I said before, he is my treat not my trick. Bella and I are pretty much trapped at home all day as the Leukemia effects her immune system to the point where we are told she has none, so I took her up to the children's hospital today to pick up prescription diaper creme and to visit her nurses in her costume. Grandma came by later for a visit and then I got the boys all dolled up for a night of trick or treating at their cousins. None of the cousins were sick, so we were able to take Bella with us and again, she lit up when seeing her Joe Joe. We get very few smiles during the day from this sweet girl (chemo and steroids make children very grouchy and uncomfortable)....that is really hard for me, but she always smiles when she see's Joe Joe.

On Saturday night, we celebrated Dave's birthday, 41 years! He still looks like my high school sweet heart. Dave and I met our senior year in high school in religion class and started dating...we have been together ever since. Dave was the quiet, obedient, smiley boy sitting next to me in religion class. I was the chatter box and bubbly. However, this sweet man would sit in class and talk my ear off and when the teacher asked a question, he would raise his hand and answer it like he was paying attention. Then the teacher would call on me and I would not have a clue to the answer because I did not have the ability to talk with him while my heart was pitter pattering and listen at the same time. I love you Dave, and I love sharing my life with you and our sweet children. You are truly a gift and a treasure from God.

I have so much on my mind to post, I hope to have time this week to gather those thoughts.

Monday is another big day for Bella, she will be sedated in the morning for a Lumbar Puncture (pulling bone marrow to see how many leukemia cells the chemo is killing, I expect a great result) a spinal tap injecting chemo into her spinal chord (the spinal chord is the first place that active and inactive Leukemia cells try to hide) and she will receive her intervenious chemo. Fortunately for Bella and I, she will not feel any of this. Were believing for a great day.

Blessings to all!

Day 2 of Clinic

2008-10-30T22:26:00.001-04:00

Bella on her way to clinic today. Looking at her, you would never know she was in this battle of Leukemia...yet when I see her expression, I am reminded of what we are dealing with. And then I hear a gentle whisper...."This is not your battle to win, it's mine". And I turn everything over to God and praise Him that He is in this and all is well.

2 weeks ago today, we received a call at 6:30 pm in the evening that Bella had Leukemia. Bella and I spent 8 nights and 9 days in the hospital, this week marked her first week of "clinic appointments", today being her second. We left the house at 10 am for a 10:30 am apt. The apt. was a "check up and blood count"....we did not arrive home until 5:30 pm. Bella's blood counts were again very low as well as her platelets, so she ended up having 2 transfusions this afternoon. This is considered normal for her circumstance, and is expected for awhile. Makes for a long day at the hospital, but praise God...my Mom came down for 2 hours so that I could go and have my hair done. Bella will understand this sacrifice of her Mom not being at her side for all her apts once she gets older. :) I knew something was off with Bella's counts as her lips were dry again this morning with a yellow over lay, she looked paler and she was more lethargic. I am amazed at what a difference a little blood makes. Several of you have asked what you can do to help, and we have posted these items on our blog site, but one of the biggest is GIVE BLOOD! I realize that your donation of your life line will not go directly to Bella, however, a blood donor saved Bella's life and the life of millions of others before. I knew giving blood was important, but until it happens to you or a loved one, you never truly understand just how valuable it is. Make the difference in the life of a child and a family, when given the opportunity, please give blood.

I have so many thoughts I want to share, so many examples of God's fatherly hand in our lives, thank you's that I want to extend...but its been quit a day and I am "feeling" exhausted. Bella wakes almost every 2-3 hours to eat. The steroid she is on not only makes her very fussy and uncomfortable, but also STARVING! i hope to post sometime tomorrow afternoon.

Tomorrow is Halloween, and my Husband's BIRTHDAY! Every year I tell him he's "my treat not my trick". Let me tell you, he is one amazing man. We plan to head to my brothers house for the boys to "trick or treat" with their cousins, if no one is remotely sick, we will be able to take Bella in her "lady bug costume" with her mask on. I really do not want to stay home alone, we love Halloween.

As always, I so appreciating you checking in. I have so much to share in the days to come and we enjoy sharing the journey with all of you.

God Bless!

As Promised...Drac's Ball Photos!

2008-10-28T20:10:00.001-04:00

My Nate, this is what happens when you take pics after dancing. His "ice" face makeup melted off by now. Bummer, it was very cool. He also took off his wig.

My nieces and nephews

Entrance as walking into our home, yes, that is a fog machine going off. We have 3, the ground fogger is on the dance floor.

Brad, friend and "The DJ"

Cutest Baby of the Night-Yoda, my nephew Joey!

80's couple, Pam and Scott

My absolute favorite costume....Bob of "What a about Bob" (the movie), he even had a live goldfish in his jar, aka...Gill. And I kid you not, the night in shining armor is none other than "Dr. Marvin"! This is truly his name and title. They won best couple costume in my eye's. :)

Marilyn friend Suzanne, (Brad's Wife) and the Gothic Queen (ME)

40 and older group dancing to the 80's!

Brad the DJ, "You Da Man"!

Teen Dance

Everyone loves the YMCA, the adults were in the back by the fire place

My Gothic King in the Monster Mohawk wig

My Jake as a wearwolf, he took his beard off by the time I took this picture. I hand glued each piece of hair on his face.

Dave and I

This was our 7th Annual "Dracula's Ball". The first 5 years were adult parties, and we had some awesome and wacky costumes those 5 years. As the boys have grown, we decided to switch the party to a family party as I did not have the energy to do two separate parties.

We had friends and family come over Friday and Saturday to help us set everything up. I think I would like them back every year as it only took a day and a half to get up all the decorations, it takes me a week to do it by myself. It was a great night, we had so many people and everyone enjoyed the DJ talents of our friend Brad, owner of Celebration Entertainment. Thank You Brad, you totally make the party every year.

Bella stayed with my parents that night at their home as she can not be in any public environment due to her immune system. We truly enjoyed seeing so many friends and family and just laughing and dancing off the past week. Thanks to everyone who made this yearly event possible. We could never have pulled it off without your help this year. The boys loved it and so did we.

Things Have Changed

2008-10-27T22:14:00.001-04:00

Bella's Broviach (port) , this thing gives me the heebee geebies. It reminds me of the umbilical chord, if she pulls on it and it comes out...will her insides spill out? I have to use a syringe daily to insert a saline solution and antibiotic and change her dressing weekly. We tried bath time last night, that did not go so well. Its difficult to not get it wet. So we will only do bath time once a week and have a "wash cloth" bath the rest of the week.

Life is different, these are Bella's daily medications and Broviach equiptment. She takes 5 medications a day, each one is given 2-3 times a day. Because Leukemia attacks her white blood cells, she is highly suseptable to illness, so being "germ free" is a big ordeal in our house. Now remember, I am a cottage girl with 3 boys, this is a whole new life style for us. My hands are cracking from all the hand washing and Purrel Lotion.

This is life for the time being, but it is "but a time". This too shall pass, so on with the journey we go, the journey to healing and all the miracles and blessings God has in store for our family and Bella. It's not the journey we planned on or desire, but we are confident that God is doing a "good work in us", and that He will prevail in this circumstance. "For all things are possible with God". He is good, all the time.

Bella is really doing well, we are grateful that her stomach is tolerating the chemo so well. The oral chemo makes her very emotional, edgy and irritable...in general, she cries a lot and the smiles during the day are few. Then, every night around 8 pm she becomes "party girl" and she is all smiles and silly. At that point, I am exhausted and ready for bed, but its hard to put her down as we look forward to those moments of joy and her normal personality.

Our Halloween Party was a huge success and we had a great time. I will be posting pics tomorrow.

Thanks for checking in and leaving your messages. Our spirits are truly lifted through your postings and emails.

God Bless!

A Memorable Night

2008-10-26T22:31:00.000-04:00

Bella's 2nd favorite nurse, Jen

Dear Bella,

I am home and thinking of you tonight. I want to tell you some things about tonight. I want to envision you as a young adult reading about tonight and believing without a doubt that God had a plan for your life. I know that your Mom and Dad prayed for you even before they knew your name or saw your beautiful eyes or heard your giggle. I know their hearts longed to have you home and to hold you and to love you and to share you and to delight in you. I was privileged to watch them journey as they waited and I know you were long awaited for by your Dad and Mom, Sam, Jake and Nathan as well as many many more who love and adore you.

Tonight you are very sick. You are in the hospital and I watched for hours as the nurses and doctors tried to put an IV into your arm or your leg. You whimpered and you screamed and you cried out for your Mama when you wanted to give her your barrette. You always rested your head on your Mom’s shoulder when she was able to pick you up from the bed and hold you. You patted her as if to say, Mom, we are going to get through this. Your smiles were not present, you feel awful and we think your bones must hurt. Tomorrow will be tests and confirmation of the feared leukemia. I am praying tonight that something else might show up, something not so hard on your little body, but I fear what might lie ahead for you and your family.

Tonight I had to focus on trusting God in this huge pit of chaos. The why questions were all over my thoughts and in my tears. Your Mom’s tears and words screamed her pain. She repeated, this feels like a bad dream. I know DeVos Children’s Hospital is one of the best in the country, but I don’t want you to have to go through this Bella. Your first 8 months in the orphanage were lonely at times, I am sure, why would your beautiful spirit have to suffer again?

And so I began to look for God and I saw Him with us tonight Bella. I saw God in Dr. Hoffman and his quick eye to see that you needed medical help right away. I saw God in Dr. Fitzgerald and his amazing skill in starting your IV after many many pokes from other nurses and lab technicians. I saw God in your mother’s tender touch and your father’s gentle kisses to your face as you were held down to start the IV. I saw God in your spirit as so many commented on what an amazing little girl you were to endure so much tonight. I do not understand dear Bella why you need to go through this sickness, but I do know this for sure, that God is with you every step of the way, to hold you and comfort you, to love you and protect you and I will pray Bella that God will bring full healing to your body and sweet sweet spirit so you can grow up enjoying the family God has delivered you to. It is my hope that your story will continue to bring Glory to God in the unfolding of the days ahead. I hope that together, we will all support the Ferrick family to live through this struggle with honest questions and expression of emotions. It is my prayer dear Bella, that many will weep over the injustice of disease and will marvel at the places we see God in this unwanted season of your life.

Bella Ferrick, you are a chosen child of God, loved by two mother’s and delighted in by many. I want you to know that I love you Bella and hope to watch you grow up healthy and strong.

Until that time,

Your friend,

Trish

I received this letter from our friend and adoption social worker the morning after Bella was admitted to the hospital. Trish was one of many angels we have seen in this experience. The night we were admitted, the only thing I could think to pray was "Lord, send your army of angels around Bella and our family." And we are seeing proof of that army every moment. We thank you Jesus for going before us an providing for not only our emotional needs, but also our physical needs.

Bella and I came home Friday evening around 7 pm. I have not had a chance to post as we had a Halloween Party to prepare for. Several angels arrived at our home Friday afternoon to start the decorating...I will post more on this event tomorrow. Bella is well, but she is very sensitive and emotional. She cries and screams for no reason at all, shakes like she's cold, and then will be all smiles and laughing. she is very tired and napping a lot, she is eating well but not large amounts like we expected. The doctors did inform us that her personality will be like this for the first couple months, its a side effect of her daily oral chemo. Tomorrow is our first clinic day for her intervenious chemo, another few hours at this hospital. I am choosing to look at it as quiet time with my girl.

I have added a new section on our Blog called "Bella's Angels". There is no way we can send thank you notes at this time for all the people who have shown their love and support to Bella and our family in one way or another, so I will post their names in this section as a way to recognize and thank those who have truly been angels to Bella and our family.

Blessings, Susie

Hope in the Storm

2008-10-23T21:08:00.000-04:00

I want to go home

Feeling better and playing with toys again.

Bella and her favorite nurse Nancee.

Bella and her boys, they are so ready to have both of us home.

Today had moments of joy and moments of emotional heartache. Bella is really tolerating things well, but she is burned out on all the poking and prodding. Today she had her second round of Chemo via a shot in her Femur muscle. It was followed by a temp check, blood pressure check and heart check, 3 oral medications and then a dressing change for her port. It was unfortunately emotionally traumatic for her, but she is filled with the spirit and quit resilient and she bounced back after an hour and half nap with her Daddy rocking her. The hard part for me was her crying...screaming and the fact that I had to change her dressing as we will have to do this at home. On the joyful side, Bella gave many smiles today, a big snuggle to Nancee her nurse who is amazing and played with her toys and snuggled her Mom while reading books in our bed. We had to special visitors in the morning...my friend Sue and sister-in-law Tiff with Bella's cousin Joey. Bella just lit up when she seen him come in the door. I felt bad for her as she wanted to touch him but couldn't.

The plan is that we go home tomorrow...and that's what I am planning on! I am so anxious to be home with our boys and snuggled up close to my husband in bed. I am looking forward to a day of no "vital checks", doctor visits, Leukemia Info meetings, social worker checks, etc. I cant even have a single conversation with out some kind of medical interruption. My head is spinning with information and I cant seem to really get a grip to what is happening and how this will effect our lives, yet I have peace in this storm, peace in the Lord and His promise to Bella and our family. We have seen the face of Jesus more times than we can count in the last 8 days, I pray every day that I notice the big and the tiniest of blessings God sends our way.

It was one week ago today that we were informed of this diagnosis, at this time, they were desperately trying to get an IV in Bella for a blood transfusion because her levels were dangerously low. It was a night that I wont forget, yet their are moments I do not even remember. Life took on a whole new meaning, and I became very aware of how fragile this physical world is and how dependent we truly are on our God. I know Jesus personally, and I cant even imagine this walk with out Him. The adoption journey prepared us for this next journey, and we expect nothing less of God, another victory in the life of the Ferricks.

It is well....

2008-10-22T00:49:00.000-04:00

my with soul. I am sitting on the bed with my sweet Bella girl, she is sound a sleep, but it did not come easily. I think Bella may be getting homesick as am I. A hospital room is no place to call home, but we are enjoying the quiet time together. I love our mornings when she wakes me up and we look right into each others eye's, she is all soft and warm and snuggly. Sometimes she wakes up grouchy, other times she wakes up smiling at me. I remember when we picked our sweet girl up in Guatemala, every time she would awake from a nap or in the morning I would say "Hola Chica!" an she would give us the biggest grin.

Today we enjoyed a few more guests, I love catching up with friends and family. I am immensely grateful for the love poured on our family. My Mom arrived today with a hand made night gown for Bella with a note that said "Look what the mice made while you were sleeping". When I was going to my Senior Prom, my Mom made additions to my dress. when I went to bed that night, she was still at her sewing machine, when I woke up the following morning, my prom dress was hanging on my bedroom door with a note that said "Look what the mice made while you were sleeping". I love my Mom, I love all the special little things she has done over the years to say "I love you, you are mine". Her sewing is one of my favorite things as I know her heart is in it, there is just something special about the things she makes. This includes her famous chocolate chip cookies! I am not very good at sharing those.

Please pray for Bella's continued health. Due to the chemo, her blood levels will be very low and it raises her risks of getting sick. We want to go home Thursday, so NO fevers!

"I will walk by faith and not by sight"...that is my desire, my hope and my promise. All for the glory of Him, what a life He has planned for this little girl, although the journey may have bumps, we know that in the end, we have victory.

Surgery Success!

2008-10-20T23:15:00.001-04:00

Going on a wagon ride. Of course, Bella would wear her hospital mask, but she refuses to wear her bows!

Bella and Grandma

Bella's surgery to install her broviach port went GREAT today. It was a long day as surgery was to be around 10 am and they did not get her in until 4 pm. She went almost 24 hours with out any food or water and she was quit unhappy about it. We spent a great deal of time today trying to distract her stomach pain. We took her for a wagon ride up and down the corridors and then to the inpatient play room where she had time alone to play with the toys and read new books. Grandma was with us in the afternoon which allowed Dave and I to have lunch together alone. Bella received a special blanket today as well as a necklace with her name in beads. Every time she gets any treatment whether its blood withdrawal, chemo, antibiotic, etc., she receives a new bead. Thus, earning her "purple heart". She also received her first chemo tonight.

Bella's immune system will be down as her bloody is not creating the necessary anti-bodies to fight anything, not to mention that the chemo will kill any good cells she does have. So protecting her from sickness will be of top priority. We are not a "germ worry" family. So this is going to present some new challenges for all of us. We are already working with the kids to wash hands and use hand sanitizer all the time. We will all need to change our cloths when entering the home after being out in public. We will basically be home bound for the first 2 months of chemo except for clinic days at the hospital. Yet, there is no place I would rather be than carring for my baby. While waiting to bring Bella home, people would often say, "enjoy this time while you have it" and my response was "I would give anything to have her home and in our arms. That could not be any more true for today. She is home with the love and support of her family and in the awesome medical care this facility. Praise you Lord for your perfect provision in protecting our sweet girl.

We hope to be here only a few more days, Bella has handled every med and treatment perfectly! Believe it or not, we are going forward with our Halloween Party Saturday night. Friends have offered to decorate for us and we are very much looking forward to the mental release of the current circumstances. Grandma and Grandpa will be taking care of our sweet baby girl at their home.

As I look at my daughter, I have grief about the 8 months of time we lost while she waited in Guatemala, and now, the infancy and toddler hood that will be consumed in her treatments. I struggle with the fact that her hair beautiful black, silky hair will begin to fall out in only 2 weeks, and the daughter I waited so long for will be in a fight that is not meant to be her own. And I praise God that He is in this, that He loves her more than me, and that His only wish an desire for her is healing and perfecting in Him. So again, we look for the joy in the journey, and expect hundreds of miracles and blessings along the way.

We are so incredibly humbled and touched by all the loving posts. We feel emotionally drained, but at peace. A peace that can only come from God and your prayers. When we were leaving for the hospital after her diagnosis, anxiety gripped my heart as I scrambled through my mind as to how we were going to handle all this....I felt alone. Today, I feel peace, the support of friends, family and the blogging community has truly lifted us up and I know we are not alone. The human spirit never ceases to amaze me. What a gift it is to be part of the body of Christ.

Blessings, Susie

Walking by Faith, Not by Sight

2008-10-18T23:33:00.000-04:00

Sweet Baby Girl in her Princess Hospital Bed

Bella eating lunch after 2 blood transfusions. This is the first time she has truly eaten in 10 days! She was so impressed to be eating off that big tray in a bed. She looks like a little bug.

Two years ago, we stood at the gateway to international adoption, we knew that this would be a physically powerless situation, therefore, we had two choices, trust God or trust this earthly world, we chose God. We chose to "walk by faith and not by sight". Today, after only 5 months of bringing our Bella home from Guatemala, we were faced with that same choice, but truly, this is a daily choice. And we stand true to His Word, we know we serve a mighty God, the Great Healer, Miracle Maker, Storm Breaker....and like Peter, we will keep our eye's on Him and walk in His blessings.

We are humbled and awed again by God's provision, faithfulness and favor. From the outside looking in, many may ask, Why? Yet we know that this diagnosis is not from God, nor was it His "plan", yet its a way to show His glory and an opportunity for us to grow deeper in our Faith and Trust in Him.

Thursday evening we were admitted in to the childrens hospital. I remember very little of this evening...it's a blur, but I do remember sitting in the admitting room while nurses scrambled around and Dave was parking the car, rocking Bella in my arms while soaked in my own tears pleading to God to surround Bella and our family with an army of angels. In this moment, I had no physical words to pray, and this was all I could speak out of my mouth. We quickly began to notice God every where in the "crisis" of the moment. The quick and immediate reaction of the pediatrician just on the sight of Bella's skin color, the expedience of the lab with results of the blood test with in 1 hour. The gentle and empathetic hearts of the hospital staff. Learning very quickly that our hospital is one of the top hospitals in the country for pediatric Hematology and Cancer as well as our Doctor. Our friend and Home Study Social Worker Trish who with in moments of finding out we were at the hospital was standing in the door way of our room to assist us and comfort us (she is medical social worker as well). The nursing staff's loving care to both Bella and Dave and I. The nurse who at 6 am in the morning came in and prayed with me before she left for the night as she knew I was grieving and not sleeping. The nurse who noticed us blowing up an air mattress to sleep on and offered to take out the crib we called "the metal cage" and bring Bella and I a large comfy hospital bed to sleep together in...we slept 10 hours together with out waking once. And lastly, and likely most importantly, is the hundreds of emails, posts on our blog and phone messages offering helping hands, prayer, support and love. I cant even begin to express the immense peace and comfort that has brought us. It has filled our minds and hearts with hope. Knowing were not in this alone has made all the difference to Dave and I and our boys. God has shown his presence in big and small ways, no detail has been left unturned, and we know that He will continue to carry us on the victory in Bella's perfect healing.

We have confirmation that Bella's diagnosis is "Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia". As horrible as this may sound, it is the lesser of 2 evils and the prognosis is good and hopeful. Bella will receive a port in her chest Monday that will allow her to no longer be poked and prodded by needles for Chemotherapy and blood draws. She will have this port for 6 months. She will also start a
two year program of Chemotherapy on Monday as well, the first 6 months being the most intense. Bella has received 2 blood transfusions and will continue to receive them for the first month until her body is completely cleansed of the Leukemia and her own body can again begin making healthy blood. The treatment is designed to kill the Leukemia and then over the course of the 2 years, kill all remaining cells of Leukemia. We will have weekly trips to the hospital for transfusions and chemotherapy as well as oral chemo at home, antibiotics, and several other meds that I cant even remember at the moment. We have been told that she will most likely loose her beautiful shiny black hair, but I am choosing to believe that will not happen. Now of course, all these facts are from the Doctors, we of course serve a big and mighty God and we are believing for a super natural healing, however that may come. In all this storm, we continue to find joy in seeing the glory of God revealed in us and through us.

As for as our sweet Bella goes, she is sooooo much better. Smiling and laughing again, her sweetness is back, and her color is gorgeous. It's amazing how pale she got and we did not even recognize it. The doctors said that is normal for two reasons, one, it is very gradual and we are with her every day, and two, she is Hispanic and its the middle of Oct. It truly did look like she was loosing her sun tan. Because her little bones hurt, they give her moreiphene for the extreme pain which after the blood transfusions, she needs less and less. She is winning the hearts of every nurse and doctor just by her sincere cuteness and beautiful big round eye's. Today, she decided to grab the nurses stethoscope and place it on her own little heart. This child is so smart at 13 1/2 months of age. We are all feeling a little overwhelmed still, but we know that in time, that will pass. However we are so optimistic and encouraged by all the news we have received, and most of all, our faith sustains our heart, soul and minds and encourages us to persevere and press on.

All of you have enrichly touched our lives and Bella's, I just pray that God will shed light to the great peace your love and support has given us in the last 48 hours. You truly held us up when we could not hold our own selves up. We have felt every one of those prayers, God has heard them, and we are seeing and feeling that.

Blessings and love to all of you. We will be sure to update on Monday with more news as we are still awaiting a couple more test results including a spinal tap, but we are confident all will be well.

God Bless.

Our Hearts are breaking.....

2008-10-17T11:16:00.000-04:00

But we are strong in the healing power of our God and know that it will come to pass. I sit in the hospital room of my 13 month old.....what started as a stomach bug, than cough, then ear infection was quickly diagnosed last night as Leukemia. I took Bella back to her Pediatrician at 4 pm because she was not improving that much, we thought it was still her ears. The doctor took one look at her and immediately sent us to the lab. We were there by 5 pm and had the results by 6 pm. We are currently waiting for the bone marrow results which will give the doctors direction as to how they will treat her. What we do know, is that we will believe God, and He said "ALL who come to me shall be healed"! And that is exactly what we believe. We have seen God in so many ways in the last 17 hours, we stand in His glory.

Please pray with us that the Doctors will be able to control Bella's pain (her bones are really hurting her),that her veins strengthen so that she continue to receive the blood transfusions she desperately needs, strength, peace and comfort for Dave and I and the boys as we work through this and partake in the manifestation of healing.

Thank you for your love, support and faith.

Preview.............

2008-10-13T17:13:00.000-04:00

Dressed up kids

Enterance in to the front of our home

Our Family Room...I literally wallpapered our cream colored walls with brick wall paper, spider webs and orange lights. Our ceiling is red and the fireplace and trim are already black. We made our own dance floor and painted it black and have a ground fogger for when the party starts. Our good friend Brad is a DJ and blessed the party with his equipment and talents.

My Three Sons last year.

Let's get this party started right...by dancing!

My brother John and I

2 weeks and counting....the conversion has begun! Here are a few pics from last years Halloween Party. My kids love this, it takes me 2 weeks to convert our home, but like I said, I get "cool Mom" award for at least a month. Last years my oldest sons's friends were saying "you live in a haunted house, for the entire month of October?" I have no idea why a couple of the pics uploaded sideways, I tried to correct it, but they keep loading this way.

Bella is improving, but its slow. She is finally eating a little bit, her fever is gone, and we have gone from not sleeping to sleeping non-stop.

We went to the apple orchard Saturday to pick pumpkins and apples. Bella did pretty well, but still, slept a lot.

Thanks for checking in.